When you’re looking at adoptive family profiles online, one of the biggest questions you’ll consider is, “Do I want to place my baby with an adoptive couple who don’t have children yet?” For many women making an adoption plan, the answer is “Yes.” They want their baby to be the adoptive couple’s first child, so they specifically search for a childless couple. Others want to place their baby with a couple who are choosing adoption after a journey with infertility—people who have wanted nothing more than to become parents, but haven’t been able to naturally.
“I chose adoption because I felt it was the best choice I could make for myself and my baby. When it came time to look for adoptive parents, I knew that I wanted to provide a childless couple with the gift of parenthood,” says one birth mother, Ashlee.
Finding the Right Married Couple With No Kids to Raise Your Child
Many women choose to place their baby with a married couple with no kids, so they can make the couple’s dreams of becoming parents come to life. And here’s something that might bring you peace of mind: Does the absence of a blood connection affect the love between adoptive parents and their child? Not at all. One adoptive father described it this way: “She doesn’t ever seem like she was anything but our daughter…it feels like she’s always been here.”
If you decide to place your baby with first-time adoptive parents, know that they plan to raise your child in a healthy, loving, and stable environment. Lifetime’s adoptive couples without children have been preparing for parenthood for a while now—taking courses on newborn care, reading parenting books, and arranging their home to make it a warm and welcoming place for your child to grow up. There will never be a shortage of love to give that baby.
You’re in the Driver’s Seat
From start to finish, your adoption plan is yours to make. At Lifetime Adoption, we believe you deserve to feel confident and in control of every decision…and one of the biggest ones is choosing who will raise your child. You get to decide what matters most to you in an adoptive family, and we’re here to help you find exactly that.
Lifetime works with many different types of hopeful adoptive parents, including married couples, single women, and others who are eager to welcome a child into their lives for the first time. No matter who you envision raising your child, we’ll do our best to find families that fit your vision.
Other Things to Consider When Choosing an Adoptive Family
Since many of Lifetime’s hopeful adoptive parents don’t have children, you’ll be able to focus on what other qualities matter to you. Here are some questions to ask yourself as you think about your baby’s future home:
Is it important that your child looks like their adoptive parents?
An adopted child doesn’t share DNA with their adoptive family, but some women feel strongly about placing their baby with a couple who shares their racial background and cultural heritage. They want their child to grow up in a home that understands and celebrates their identity.
Where do you want your child to grow up?
Lifetime Adoption Agency works with adoptive families across the country. You can choose a family in your state or region if it’s important to you that your child stays close. Or, if you have a specific vision—like your child growing up on a farm in the Midwest, or in a vibrant city with cultural and educational opportunities—we can help you find that, too.
What values are important to you?
Do you want your child’s adoptive parents to share your faith? Is it important that they love the outdoors, or that they prioritize education and the arts? With Lifetime’s wide selection of adoptive families, there’s a good chance we can find parents who share your priorities and plan to pass those values on to your child.
Are you hoping for a stay-at-home parent?
Some birth mothers feel strongly about their baby being home with a parent full-time during those early years, rather than in daycare. This is a completely valid preference, and your Adoption Coordinator can search specifically for families who plan to have one parent at home.
How to Find a Married Couple with No Kids
As you begin building your adoption plan, your Adoption Coordinator at Lifetime will be there to answer your questions and explain how the process works every step of the way—but you will always be the one making the decisions.
One of the biggest decisions you’ll make is choosing the adoptive parents who will raise your child. Once you talk with your Adoption Coordinator about what you’re looking for, she’ll begin showing you profiles of couples that fit your description. When you find one that sparks your interest, she can set up a call for you to speak with them directly. Then, if all goes well, they could be your child’s adoptive parents!
You can also browse adoptive family profiles on Lifetime’s website right now. If you’d like to narrow your search to families without children, your Adoption Coordinator can help you filter and find the right match.
If you’re having trouble finding the perfect family online, try not to get discouraged. Lifetime is currently working with many adoptive families at all stages of the process, so not all of them are listed on our website at any given time. Stay in touch with your Adoption Coordinator if you can’t find a family that meets your preferences—she can help conduct a wider search to find exactly who you’re looking for.
What Happens After You Choose Adoptive Parents?
Choosing adoptive parents for your baby is just one part of the adoption process. You’ll also have the opportunity to share what you’d like your child to know about you as they grow up. Many birth mothers choose to write a letter to their baby, share photos, or put together a keepsake that the adoptive family can present to the child at an appropriate age. This is a beautiful way to pass on your love, your personality, and your reasons for choosing adoption—and adoptive families truly treasure these gifts.
You have the power to decide what type of contact you want to have with your child and to discuss these preferences with the adoptive parents as you create your adoption plan. Some birth mothers choose to have one visit a year, while others prefer ongoing updates through email or social media. The choice is entirely yours.
You may also want to ask the adoptive couple how they plan to talk to your child about adoption as they grow up. This is a great conversation to have, and your Adoption Coordinator can help with it. In most adoptive homes, adoption is something that’s talked about openly and celebrated, so your child will know their story from an early age.
Common Questions About Choosing a Childless Adoptive Family
Will first-time adoptive parents be ready to care for a newborn?
Absolutely. Lifetime’s adoptive couples go through a thorough home study process, take parenting courses, and prepare their homes with great care before they’re chosen by a birth mother. They may be first-time parents, but they’re not unprepared. They’ve been getting ready for this moment, often for years.
Will my child be loved as much as a biological child would be?
Yes. Research consistently shows that adoptive parents love their children just as deeply as biological parents do—and the stories we hear every day at Lifetime confirm it. Many adoptive parents say the bond they feel with their adopted child is indescribable and immediate. Your child will be cherished.
Can I stay in contact with my child after the adoption?
Many of Lifetime’s adoptions are open or semi-open. This means you may be able to receive photos and updates, exchange letters, or even have visits with your child as they grow up, depending on what you and the adoptive family agree to. Your Adoption Coordinator can help you find a family that is open to the level of contact you’re hoping for.
Ready to Find a Family?
You have a beautiful gift to give, the gift of parenthood. And there are loving couples ready to receive it. If you’d like to learn more about how the adoption process works, browse waiting family profiles, or just talk through your options with someone who cares, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Call or text Lifetime Adoption at 1-800-923-6784. We’re here for you, and we’d love to help you take the next step.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on October 29, 2021, and has since been updated.
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.
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