How to Tell Your Baby’s Father You’re Thinking About Adoption

by | Sep 4, 2015 | Birth Parent Blog

A couple having an argumentSo, you’ve just taken a pregnancy test and have realized with shock that you’re pregnant. What?! You weren’t ready to become a mom right now! If adoption is the pregnancy choice that you’d like to do, your next step is telling the news to your baby’s father…

Wait until you know you’ll have complete privacy with your baby’s father and you have his undivided attention. From the first word you speak, be completely honest with him. Then, share about your adoption plans and offer to include him on the plans.  If he wants to keep the baby and parent, ask him “how much are you willing to help me pay for?” Also ask him how much he can contribute to the care of your baby, including daycare, diapers, wipes, clothes, baby gear, and all of the things that are needed to raise a baby.

Explain to him why you’re thinking adoption is best, and a few details about your adoption plan. Sit down with him and two of you can develop your adoption plan: what will it look like? You have lots of choices with an open adoption, including the contact the two of you can have with your child and the adoptive family. Tell him that you can also pick your baby’s parents and meet them.

If you’re working with an adoption company already, ask your Adoption Coordinator if she’ll talk with him too. That way, he’s included in the plan and she can answer all his questions. 

You can talk to someone about your decision…just call Lifetime Adoption any time at 1.800.923.6784 to discuss your choices.

If you’d like to hear from a woman who understands where you’re at, and what you are going through, you can listen to Tammy’s adoption story.

Heather Featherston

Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston

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