Birth Father Stories
Many birth fathers state that they are opposed to adoption because of their pride. They believe that ‘no child of mine’ should be placed for adoption simply because they are too proud to admit that it may be the best solution. It actually takes a strong man to realize that he is not in a place to provide a child with an ideal life and agree to the adoption. Many birth fathers who have played an active role in child adoption have shared that they are so happy they put their child’s needs above their own.
Manny, a steelworker in Pennsylvania found himself in a similar situation. His ex-girlfriend Raina texted him that she was pregnant and looking into adoption for the baby because she did not want another child. This was Manny’s first baby and he was insisting that he wanted to be a dad to this child. They fought, but finally got together late one night at a restaurant to try to hash out what this was all going to look like.
Raina showed him the pictures of the Ohio family she had chosen for the baby. She had been talking to them and told him that they would be happy to talk to him and include him with annual visits. Manny thought he had it all worked out – if Raina didn’t want to be a mom, the kid could stay with his mom during the week while he worked and then come to his house on weekends.
As he looked at the photos of the couple’s home and family, even the nursery they had ready for a baby, he started to realize and understand that these people were ready to be parents every day and night to his baby. And he simply wasn’t in a place where he could. He left the restaurant feeling like a failure but agreed to talk to these people with Raina next week.
When Manny spoke to the adoptive parents that Raina had chosen, they were so kind and thankful to talk to him. They told him they understood this was a hard decision for him but however it worked out, they were grateful for the chance to be considered. They reassured him they wanted him to be a part of the child’s life and they talked about what that could look like.
After the call ended, Manny felt better about adoption. It was still a difficult place to be, but he started to see things from his child’s perspective, and decided that a committed, two parent family might have more to offer than he and Raina, especially when Raina didn’t even want another kid.
The adoption moved forward, with Manny participating every step of the way. Today, Manny has a great bond with the adoptive parents and is proud to see his son play in his little league games when the team travels near him. They have a very open relationship and he stays in touch with them more than Raina.
There are many questions about adoption in regards to birth fathers and their adoption legal rights. Lifetime Adoption is here to help you find the answers you need as you consider adoption. The best way to get answers is by calling or texting our 24 hour adoption answer line at 1-800-923-6784.
Remember, we are here to help you and any information you share with us is completely private and confidential.
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