Unplanned Pregnancy Options for Expectant Mothers
A positive pregnancy test can come as a shock, especially if you’ve been using birth control. You probably have a lot of different questions and concerns racing through your head.
What are your options? How will you decide what to do? Will you tell family members and friends about your pregnancy? What will the father think? What will I do? And how will I get through this?
If you have recently found yourself facing an unplanned pregnancy and you aren’t sure you are ready to be a mother, it’s good to spend some time with your pregnancy options and learn about the help available.
If you are pregnant, it is important to understand that you are already a mother. You are not just making a decision for yourself or your body, you are making a decision for the child growing inside of you.
Option #1: Raise the child.
Being a mother is something that changes your life. It is full of challenges and rewards, joys and tears. The baby growing inside of you will have a one-of-a-kind personality and a specific set of interests and talents. Many of your baby’s characteristics are already determined in their unique DNA.
As you learn about your child and how to love them, you will need support along the way. You will need to ask yourself a variety of questions before you decide if parenting is the right option for you.
Some of these questions include:
- Will the father stay in the picture to help raise the child?
- What kind of family support do you have?
- Do you have the financial resources to raise a child?
- Will the father commit to child support?
- What type of living arrangements and childcare can you provide?
- How will you reach your long-term goals while raising a child?
- Do you want to raise a child at this time in your life?
Option #2: Abortion
Deciding if you should have an abortion is a difficult decision. You will need to do some research on the types of abortion procedures and what risks come with them. You will also need to talk to a counselor. We have worked with many women who regret their abortions and have said “I can’t do that again.”
Abortion is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You won’t be pregnant for the rest of your life, but it is a decision that once done can never be undone.
Here are some questions to ask before deciding if abortion is the right option for you.
- Do you know the risks and complications that come with abortion?
- Have you been tested for sexually transmitted diseases?
- What are the laws in your area regarding abortion?
- Can you afford an abortion?
- Are you feeling pressured to terminate a pregnancy?
- Have you considered the emotional impacts of having an abortion?
- Are you fully informed about your other pregnancy options?
Option #3: Modern Adoption
Adoption today is not what it was in the 1950s and 1960s. Closed adoption is rare, and a new, more modern open adoption has taken its place. Women today are able to choose the parents for their child and build a relationship with them, like an extended family. They keep in touch through calls, texts, emails, and even get together for visits. There are a wide variety of adoption options available, and the biological mother, or birth mother as she is often called, makes the decisions.
At Lifetime Adoption, we work in placing children with adoptive families in a loving open adoption situation. This gives you the ability to pick the family that raises your child and allows you the option to stay involved as the child grows and matures. Adoptive families can come from anywhere in the country and have diverse interests, hobbies and lifestyles. You make the choices.
While adoption is a good option for many expectant mothers, there are still some questions you should ask, including:
- What type of family would you want your child to have?
- If you choose an open adoption, what type of contact do you want?
- Does the father want to be involved in adoption planning?
- What type of support do you want through this time? Licensed counselors? Peer counselors? All are free to you.
- Will you need help with pregnancy-related expenses? (This is allowed in most states.)
We understand that an unexpected pregnancy can feel scary and overwhelming. But don’t despair. There are options out there that give you the opportunity to live your life on your terms.
Choosing adoption is an incredible gift, not just for your child, but for the family who gets the experience of raising the child you brought into the world.
Unplanned Pregnancy Options When It’s Not Your First Child
No matter what you feel when you find out you are pregnant, you always have choices. Even if you have other children in the house already, there are many unplanned pregnancy options for when your baby is a second or third child.
There are lots of reasons why a parent might choose not to raise another child. Money problems, an uncertain future, or the stress of already raising other kids might all factor into the decision to look into adoption.
Following through with an unplanned pregnancy and raising your child adds one more person to your family. If you aren’t sure that you can handle the responsibility of that extra mouth to feed and child to care for, ask yourself these questions:
- Do you want another child?
- Are you financially ready to support another child?
- Does the father want to help raise the child?
- Will a baby be welcome and safe in your home?
- Will you be able to care for your other children if another baby comes into the home?
Some of these questions are difficult to answer. Think long and hard about the future and be realistic about the answers. A baby is a big commitment, as you know, and there are other choices you can make if you decide having another baby is not something you can do right now.
As an adoption agency in the United States, we help connect expectant mothers with caring adoptive families. And we know how beautiful adoption can be. Seeing the joy in adoptive parents’ eyes when they get to meet their new child is priceless. And seeing the hope in the eyes of birth mothers when they see their baby in a loving home that they chose is incredibly rewarding.
We have been helping families and expectant parents since 1986 and look forward to helping answer your questions and providing the support you need as you walk through your pregnancy journey.
Facing an unplanned pregnancy? Contact our compassionate team of adoption coordinators at Lifetime Adoption today to learn more. We’ll discuss the adoption process, pros and cons, adoption plans, or whatever else is on your mind.
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This form is intended for pregnant women or women wanting to place their child for adoption.
If you wish to adopt a child into your family, please click here. If you live outside of the U.S., please click here.
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