Adopting a Newborn from the Hospital

The Hospital Adoption Process: What to Expect and How to Prepare

Adopting a newborn from the hospital is an emotional and carefully coordinated process centered on preparation, respect, and clear communication with the birth mother. This guide explains what adoptive parents can expect on delivery day and how to navigate the hospital experience with confidence and sensitivity.

• The birth mother creates a detailed hospital plan with her coordinator outlining her preferences for labor, delivery, and post-birth interactions.
• It’s important for adoptive parents to follow and respect her plan, including decisions about attendance, timing, and involvement.
• Emotional awareness is essential because birth parents often need private time with their baby before placement.
• Birth mom retains legal rights until consent is signed, meaning she makes all medical decisions.
• This article also covers FAQs, timelines, and step-by-step guidance for successfully adopting a newborn.

The best day of the newborn adoption process is here. After completing paperwork, going through the home study, and waiting – it’s time to meet your baby! Adopting a newborn from the hospital is often the most anticipated event in an adoptive family’s journey.
 
Arriving at the hospital will likely be one of your most intense and emotional experiences. I’ll share what to expect and how to prepare for hospital adoption. I’ve also answered some common questions that adoptive parents have. Lastly, I’ve shared additional resources about what to expect when your baby arrives!
 

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Table of Contents

• The Adoption Hospital Plan
• What Choices Does the Birth Mother Make About Adoption at Birth?
• Follow the Birth Mother’s Hospital Plan
• What to Bring to the Hospital
• The Timing of Adoption Placement
• Questions About Adopting a Newborn from the Hospital
• Resources

The Adoption Hospital Plan

Preparing for birth is often the hardest part for birth mothers. Birth parents know that leaving the hospital without their baby in their arms will be incredibly challenging.

Lifetime Adoption encourages every birth mother to create a hospital plan. This plan expresses her desires and needs for her hospital stay and labor. Her adoption hospital plan will inform the hospital staff, Lifetime, and you exactly how things should go. A plan in place before labor helps everyone focus on the birth.

What Choices Does the Birth Mother Make About Adoption at Birth?

Before her baby’s birth, the birth mother will make a hospital plan with her Adoption Coordinator. Some of the choices she has include:

• Whether she is comfortable with you being present in the delivery room or if she’d rather have you remain in the waiting room.
• If she’d like you to participate in the birth process, and how. (For example, some birth mothers invite the adoptive parents to cut the umbilical cord).
• For birth mothers who already have a child, if they’d like their child to be at the hospital too.
• Whether she’d like confidential hospital admittance.
• If she’d prefer to recover in an area away from the maternity ward.
• Her desire to have family members, close friends, or other people in her support system with her at the hospital.
• How much time she’d like to spend with her baby before saying goodbye.

Follow the Birth Mother’s Hospital Adoption Plan

The hospital plan should outline your involvement during labor and after birth. The birth mother will decide whether you can be in the room, the waiting area, or elsewhere.

Most birth mothers choose to spend some time alone with their baby, which Lifetime encourages. This helps them process their decision before placement—after all, you can’t say “goodbye” before you’ve said “hello.”

Check in with the birth mother but respect her need for space. Many birth mothers later regret not having private time with their baby. You’ll have plenty of time once you bring your baby home.

Even if the birth is emotional for you, honor the birth mother’s plan. Supporting her during this time helps strengthen your relationship and makes her hospital stay more comfortable.

Respect Their Time and Space

Birth parents need their moment before you gain parental responsibility. Also, childbirth is physically and emotionally intense, so we recommend respecting their time and space. Support them as they do what feels right to them at the hospital.

Remember that until the birth parents sign away their rights, you don’t (yet) have any legal rights to their child. You’ll need to avoid making medical decisions for the baby until the paperwork is complete. Even if a nurse asks you a question about the baby, the birth mother needs to make those decisions for now.
 

Recognize the Birth Mother’s Adoption Process and Hospital Experience

Before you embark on adopting a newborn from the hospital, learning the expectant mother’s hospital plan is crucial. You’ll receive this information from your adoption professional before the delivery day. Knowing this in advance eases anxiety and helps you prepare for the important day.
 
You can see what the hospital experience looks like for birth mothers, by watching the two videos linked to below. They answer questions Lifetime frequently receives from expectant moms.

• I’m Choosing Adoption. Can I See My Baby at the Hospital?
• How Soon Will My Baby Go With Their Adoptive Family?

What to Bring to the Hospital

Some essential items you’ll want to pack include:

• About three to four onesies
• A couple of pairs of baby pajamas
• Other baby clothing items in varying sizes
• Two receiving blankets
• A cute outfit for the day you’ll be discharged from the hospital
• Two to four bottles
• Two to four pacifiers
• Gifts for the birth parents, if they’re allowable per state law

And these are items you can purchase once you arrive in the birth mother’s state:

• Diapers
• Formula
• Car seat
• Pack-n-play or travel crib where the baby can sleep

When will we get to see the baby?

The answer to this is up to the birth mother, who will decide how things go in her hospital plan. During her pregnancy, she will have made a hospital plan designating who she wants to see at the hospital, what role you should play, how much time she wants with her baby, and more.

The hospital may also have additional policies, such as if you may have access to the baby’s medical information, whether you will have your own hospital room, and if you can move freely throughout the maternity ward and nursery.

Your adoption agency will contact the hospital to answer these questions. Be sure to understand the hospital’s policies and fill out any paperwork as needed upon arrival.

Bringing a Gift for the Birth Mother

Many adoptive parents wonder if they we bring a gift for the birth mother. A gift of some kind is a lovely idea! Whether or not you’re legally allowed to give the birth mother a gift depends on the adoption laws in her state. As this can vary, you’ll need to check in with your adoption attorney before giving her any gifts.

The Timing of Adoption Placement

When does adoption placement happen? Each state has different laws regarding adoption placement, meaning when a birth mother can consent to adoption. Typically in newborn adoption, she can give written consent between 12 and 72 hours after giving birth. At this point, the state will transfer custody to you. Once a birth mother chooses you, an adoption attorney can provide a more precise timeframe.

Now that you know more about placement, you might be wondering what happens afterward. If the birth mother is in another state, expect a 7–10 day wait for ICPC clearance. ICPC stands for the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children and ensures that children placed into an adoptive family outside their birth state get the right support services.

As you wait for ICPC clearance, plan activities and enjoy quiet time with your spouse and baby. Life is sure to pick up speed when you get home! You can also shop for items you still need for your baby. Do your best to remain flexible and go with the flow.

Once ICPC clears, you can go home and start life as parents!

Your Baby’s Birth Certificate

You likely won’t receive a birth certificate while in the birth mother’s state. That’s because the birth mother will complete birth certificate forms while still in the hospital, which will be sent to the state. Once your adoption process is finalized, it may take a bit of time for you to get your baby’s new amended birth certificate showing you as parents.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can you adopt a baby from a hospital?

Yes. You can adopt a baby from a hospital through an open domestic adoption. In these cases, the birth mother makes an adoption plan before delivery and chooses the adoptive family. Depending on her wishes, adoptive parents may be present at the hospital or meet the baby shortly after birth.

How difficult is it to adopt a newborn baby?

Adopting a newborn can be competitive, as many families hope to adopt infants. Wait times vary based on your preferences and openness. Working with a licensed adoption agency can help guide you through the process and improve your chances.

How to adopt a newborn?

To adopt a newborn, you’ll typically:

1. Choose an adoption agency
2. Complete a home study
3. Create an adoptive family profile
4. Be matched with a birth mother
5. Finalize the adoption after placement

Each step ensures a safe and legal adoption process.

Who is allowed in the delivery room during a hospital adoption?

The birth mother decides who can be in the delivery room. She may invite the adoptive parents or choose to have a private delivery. You’ll usually discuss these plans in advance as part of the adoption process.

 

Resources for Adopting a Newborn

Newborn Care Course for Adopting Parents

“Expecting 101…you’re adopting!” is a unique newborn preparation course created especially for future adoptive parents. It provides a place to learn about newborn care and feeding without the pregnancy and postpartum tips offered in similar newborn prep courses. You are granted access to this course for two years, so you can watch now to prepare and rewatch after your newborn adoption.

Course creator Valerie Trumbower talks through strategies to bond with the baby, what baby gear you need when you meet the baby, and what to buy if you just want to get what’s needed for the first month or so until you’re sure everything is official. To find out more about the course, visit NewParentsAcademy.com/adoption. Plus, you can get $50 off your course fee using the coupon code LIFETIME.

Webinar: What to Expect When Baby Arrives

This webinar is an invaluable resource if you’d like to learn more about the hospital experience as an adoptive parent! You’ll hear from Lifetime’s Director as she provides expert answers to the most-asked questions about adopting a newborn.

Get a glimpse at those sweet moments you’ve been dreaming of after your newborn adoption. Discover how to balance flexibility with preparation as we discuss the roles of your attorney and home study once the baby is here, the moments you’ll meet your baby at the hospital, and what to expect with travel clearances and finalizing your adoption. We also offer tips and insights about the birth mother’s side of the process once her baby is born. Watch Lifetime’s “What to Expect When Baby Arrives” webinar here.

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Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on November 14, 2019, and has since been updated.