“My husband and I have been waiting to be chosen by a birth mother for almost two years now. Meanwhile, whenever I check the Lifetime website, I keep seeing couples matching and adopting.
I feel like it’s not fair. How did they adopt so quickly? Why them and not us?!”
Right away, Lifetime’s adoption professionals can recognize couples who will adopt sooner rather than later. These couples have resolved any issues surrounding infertility, and are now focusing on their adoption. Their focus on adoption is so sharp that they’re not trying to remodel their home or shop for a new car at the same time. These couples are putting all of their efforts and resources into their adoption. They’re resourceful, organized, and proactive.
Keep reading to discover how you can speed up your adoption match!
We remember a couple who were resourceful, organized, and proactive with their adoption, Chris and Stephanie. When they signed on with Lifetime, they’d already had photos taken for their profiles. They worked very quickly on the items we needed from them so that we could present them to birth mothers: writing their “Dear Birth mother” letter, creating their profile, and shooting their adoption video. Stephanie asked us what they should do next, so we recommended that they complete the paperwork to get ready for their home study.
“Oh, that’s done,” said Chris. So then, we advised that they contact a social worker to do their adoption home study. Stephanie matter-of-factly said, “She’s coming over to our house next Tuesday.”
Faith and Deeds
As Christians, it’s important to remember that the Lord wants you to pray for your adoption, but He also wants us to take action when needed. It’s only when you take action that you show true faith. Consider this passage from the book of James:
“What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?
In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”
-James 2:14-17 (NIV)
This passage puts forth the point that it does no good to claim to have faith but have no works and no action. James says that if all you have is faith, it is useless.
Ease Adoption Anxiety by Becoming Proactive
So how do you get through the day-to-day anticipation of the adoption wait? By becoming proactive. You can change your feelings of anticipation and stress into action. Take all of those bundled up nerves, and transform them into positive actions that will get the word out to everyone around you, that you are seeking a child to adopt.
Being proactive about your adoption will not only occupy your time, but it will also give you a feeling of control in an arena where many things are beyond our control. Just a few action steps you could take to become proactive include using a Facebook page to get the word out about your adoption hopes, hiring a professional photographer for your adoption profile, and completing your home study paperwork right away.
Analogy on Readiness
Here’s an analogy: if you’re praying to get hired into your dream job, you’d also need to take to take specific actions. You’d need to complete job applications, sharpen your interview skills, and buy the proper attire for your interview. You can’t just land your dream job by sitting around expecting for it to drop into your lap!
This goes for adoption too: if you’re hoping to adopt, you need to take action and be prepared. Chris and Stephanie were several months ahead of other hopeful couples, so they were that much closer to adopting their baby. They did everything they could to be ready for the child that would come into their lives, and thus they would have fewer obstacles when a child became available to them. You need to be active in the process to quickly adopt. The longer you take to move to the next step, the longer you will likely wait to adopt.
Take the first step today in your adoption. Complete Lifetime’s
free online application to adopt!
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”