Question: “My husband and I are so excited! Right now, we’re planning on traveling to our birth mother’s state to pick up our baby. Do you have any ideas of what we can do while we’re waiting for clearance to go home?”
Answer: We encourage you to enjoy your alone time bonding with your baby. After all, once you get home, you’ll have to share with many excited relatives and friends! First off, let’s explain what ICPC stands for and means.
ICPC stands for the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children, and makes sure that children placed into an adoptive family outside of their birth state get the right support services. In domestic infant adoption, the odds are high that a birth mother won’t deliver in your home state. Since every state has its own adoption laws, rather a federal law for the whole country, the ICPC comes into play during the adoption process.
As you wait for ICPC to clear, keep in mind that you’ll probably be tired, and adjusting to a new routine and completely new life as parents. So, you should keep a slower pace than you would on another typical “vacation.”
Make yourselves available to visit with your baby’s birth mother and her family. She might not care or desire to visit, but it’s important to your future relationship with her that you make the offer.
Explore local landmarks in the birth mother’s town. Just make sure to talk to your baby’s pediatrician before taking any trips out with your baby. Take photos and videos and make notes for his or her baby book. These day trips will become part of your child’s adoption story!
As you wait, you could also shop for baby items. Think about what you’ve already bought, and get the items you still need. Shopping will be fun since you can do it with your baby boy or girl in mind! If there’s a bigger item you still need, you could ask a family member or friend in your hometown to help you out by picking it up for you.
You’re probably antsy to get home, but do your best to stay flexible during this phase of the adoption process. Waiting for ICPC to clear might feel inefficient and unnecessary, but the wait time is out of your control. So, just go with the flow and relish this time of just the two of you with your baby.
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”