Does any of this sound familiar?
Are you going to start going to the gym?
Our adoption paperwork is taking all my time now. I’ll use our gym membership after we adopt.
Honey, should we talk to a counselor?
Let’s do that after we adopt. Counseling is expensive, and we need to save the money for the adoption right now.
Do you plan to take a vacation this year?
No, we’re going somewhere after we adopt. We’re trying to save up all the paid time off that we can get at work.
Should we get life insurance?
Let’s do that after we adopt…there’s no point in getting it right now.
When are you going to quit smoking?
After we adopt.
Have you found a new church?
We’ll look around after we adopt and have a new baby to bring along.
“After we adopt” is probably the biggest excuse we’ve heard in our 30 years in the adoption field. It’s used as a reason for procrastinating on something that people know they should do. Some are anxious that it may get in the way of their adoption plans. Read on as we share what to do while waiting for adoption. Avoid procrastination during your wait and act now!
Although it’s a joyous event, welcoming a new child into your home is stressful. The truth is, you might not have time to focus on doing any of the things you planned to do after you adopt. You’ll be devoting your time and attention to your new child, wrapped up in his or her needs, enjoying every milestone. That child will be the focus of your life, and you won’t want to take time away from parenthood to deal with things that you didn’t want to deal with when you had the time.
Right now, while you’re waiting for adoption, Lifetime encourages you to tend to yourself physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Revive yourself and your marriage.
Taking care of yourself physically may mean getting in shape or quitting smoking. Both can be done without an expensive gym membership or cessation programs. Begin by taking walks around the neighborhood, or searching for free fitness videos on YouTube. Ask your doctor about the best way to quit smoking that may be covered by your insurance.
Taking care of yourself emotionally can happen by searching for a lay counselor at church or through a local organization. Look into your insurance benefits: counseling may be covered.
Taking care of yourself spiritually may mean finding a church that can provide support to you now, as you cope with the adoption wait. By giving and receiving support, your whole family will benefit.
Keeping your marriage strong means spending time together and prioritizing each other’s needs. Take a vacation together; it doesn’t have to be a lavish tropical getaway. It might be as simple as a long weekend that’s within driving distance. Or get creative and plan a “staycation” in the town you live in. Check out new spots and dine out at that hot new restaurant. Go to visit friends you haven’t seen in a while. There are so many ways that you can spend time together, relaxing and doing something different.
The bottom line is, don’t use the excuse of “after we adopt” to put off the things that you know you should do today. Pursuing adoption doesn’t mean that you have to put your life on hold. Every day is valuable – make the most of it as you prepare for the child God has for you.
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Lifetime’s offices are closed today for the Labor Day holiday. Our 24-hour adoption line remains staffed and open for birth mothers, and for adoptive parents who need to reach us regarding an adoption match: 1-800-923-6784.
Remember to keep your cell phones charged and on today. Lifetime typically gets calls about urgent adoption situations when other adoption professionals aren’t available (they’re out enjoying the long weekend). If we need to contact you, we want to be sure that we can!
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.
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