As with all family planning, it’s common that the hopeful mom-to-be stands as the focus. Loved ones may be sensitive to women waiting for a child. Doctors assisting couples through pregnancy or infertility may focus on the mother-to-be. In adoption, there may be a tendency to direct materials and questions to the prospective adoptive mom. Even a birth mother may prefer to engage more with the adoptive mom, than with the adoptive father. When hoping, planning, and waiting for a child, it seems it’s a woman’s world.
It’s easy to assume women longing for parenthood have a harder time than the hopeful fathers-to-be. With different styles of expressing emotional longing and coping with waiting, it may be easier to understand a woman’s heart for pending parenthood, simply because she may be more likely to speak out than a man. However, a lack of voice does not mean a lack of similar experience.
Many hopeful dads feel overlooked along a path to parenthood. With Father’s Day this Sunday, let’s recognize the men who may be longing for a child. Lift up the husbands who want to be strong and supportive for their wives hoping for motherhood. Encourage the guys who wait patiently to be called “Daddy.” Remember the men who may have lost a child or been disappointed by infertility. Find a way to let them know their journey to fatherhood is preparing them for the child who will rely on them one day.
Dads-to-be: you do so many things that make a difference every day. Each moment you wait for a child is a day you are equipped for fatherhood. The perseverance, patience, skills, and sense of humor you gain along this path are readying you for many times your child, or your family, will look to you. Though your role at this moment may feel passive, you are very much an active and key player on this path to parenthood. You are being watched. Your strength and character do not go unnoticed. The love you already show for your family-to-be is moving you all forward toward that future you long for.
Happy Father’s Day to all the new and seasoned dads, and to the future-fathers who will become an amazing asset to your child.
Here’s my special Father’s Day message to you:
If you are thinking about becoming a parent through adoption, the first step is to apply online. We are happy to answer any questions as you consider your future family options. Just email us, or call (530) 271-1740.
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”