Holidays are significant to many people. Easter is one of those special holidays and is a fun time to put on our Sunday best and enjoy time with friends and family. As a family waiting to adopt, this can be an entertaining and special time, but as you watch kids Easter egg hunting, you are probably dreaming about the time when one of those kids out there will be yours.
Today, I want to share how I handled holidays like Easter when I was waiting to adopt. Using these six tips can make the difference between you dreading the holiday to living in the moment while celebrating Easter’s joy with your family.
Anticipate Insensitive Questions
As much as I looked forward to holidays when I was on my adoption journey, I also dreaded them a bit. I would often feel depressed. I knew there would be the inevitable family questions of “When are you having a baby?”, “Haven’t you adopted yet?”, or “What is taking so long?”
Some people pass these questions and comments off as a joke, but in the end, joke or not, they are hurtful. A great comeback to these questions is “Why do you ask?” This tends to make people stop and think and most realize they were a bit out of line. Follow this with a big smile and change the subject.
Envision Your Perfect Easter
I have found that mentally preparing myself for the day ahead of time is very beneficial. The first thing I do is ask myself what I want to get out of the day. Create a picture in your mind of what the day will look like and how you will feel. If you picture peace and serenity, then put yourself in that state of mind. If you want to be jolly and silly, then picture that in your mind. Decide to let any hurtful or insensitive comments roll off your back. Commit to making that day be the day you have pictured in your mind.
Remember That It’s Not All About You
Another tactic I use is to remind myself that the day is not all about me. I can stand back and observe. Enjoy the day by watching children’s eyes light up when they see that chocolate bunny. Watch as grandma is delighted that someone loves her lemon meringue pie. Find humor in your sibling’s squabbling, just like when they were children.
My last tip for you this Easter is to increase your joy. You can do that in these three easy steps:
It is tough to feel down and out about your adoption wait when you are smiling. You might find that it is a fake smile at first, but hang in there, do that long enough, and it will be a real smile. You may even find yourself laughing at your fake smiling as I do, and all of a sudden, you feel that happiness creeps in.
Say “Thank You”
Find reasons throughout the day to say “thank you.” We just don’t thank each other enough anymore. Find small things that someone does that they really don’t expect to be thanked for. Then watch their face light up when you recognize what they are doing and appreciate it.
Offer to Help
Nothing boosts the spirit like helping someone else. You will feel productive, and you will make their day a little easier. You’ll probably even get your own “thank you” out of it.
I find that every day, not just holidays, are what you make it. I may not succeed at being bright and happy every single day, but I know I try. I also know that most days, I succeed. This is not only a blessing to me but those around me.
Happiness is contagious. It is the one bug we all do want to share!
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”