Here’s a question asked of Lifetime’s adoption experts during a recent Facebook Live video: “What is a good gift for our child’s birth mother to show that we care? Could I make her something?” What a touching and thoughtful open adoption question! We’d like to share our answer with you here today.
What you give your child’s birth mother as a gift will vary, depending on the relationship that you take the time to make with her, as well as what her desires and preferences are.
When birth mothers fill out adoption paperwork with Lifetime, they share with us what their favorites are and some of the things that they like to do. When you’re officially matched with a birth mother, your Adoption Coordinator will tell you about her hobbies and favorites. So, referring to that info is a good place to start.
As you get to know the birth mother a little better and develop a relationship with her, you’ll discover her interests. It may even end up being that you share a few hobbies and interests!
For your gift to your child’s birth mother, we suggest putting together a gift basket. Assembling a gift basket allows you pick and choose items that you know she’ll love! It also shows that you put a lot of thought and warmth into the gift. Items like gift cards, body wash, candles, and lotion are great.
We also suggest including something in the basket which she can have as a keepsake. Something that she can hold onto in the future that’s a nice remembrance of this time. The keepsake item doesn’t have to be expensive, just something that’s nice, that’s special, and that she can hang onto. Put a little something that’s tangible and a memento along with the nice pampering items. Then, if she happens not to be the type who’s into something sentimental, like a keepsake, then it’s great she also has the pampering gifts.
When you arrive at the hospital as your birth mother is in labor, it’s nice to have a little something to give her. Flowers convey the feeling of a celebration. So, you might consider a nice green potted plant.
Keep the birth mother’s needs in mind too. Every woman is different, and their situations are all different. So as you get more acquainted with her, you’ll have a better idea of what kind of gift she’d like.
Do you have ideas for birth mother gifts? Or maybe a creative present you’ve given your child’s birth mother that she loved?
Please share it with us by leaving your comment below!
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”