Any woman considering adoption has her child’s best interest in mind. This is just as true when her child is older.
If you’re wondering, “should I give my child up for adoption?” you’re not alone. It’s more common than you may think. Whether you are struggling financially, cannot parent your child right now, or want to provide your child with more than you can offer, adoption can be a positive, loving choice.
That’s why it’s not actually “giving up” your child, but giving them a better life. This video explains more:
There are many reasons women consider adoption. Whatever situation has led you to think about adoption, making an adoption plan for your child with Lifetime Adoption allows you to take charge of your situation and your child’s future.
What Are My Options if I Can No Longer Parent My Child?
You must be facing a difficult situation right now if you feel you can no longer parent your child. Before you turn to adoption, consider if you are in a temporary crisis. If you can see a path toward providing the life you want for your child, one of these alternatives could help you get back on your feet:
- Reach out to social services for counseling and resources to help you parent your child.
- Research government programs that provide financial assistance such as Women, Infants, and Children (WIC), Medicaid, and Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP).
- Consider a temporary guardianship. Circumstances may be tough right now, but perhaps you could parent your child once you made some life changes.
When is it the Right Choice to Give My Child Up for Adoption?
You are the only one who can determine what’s best for your child. There are many scenarios where you might feel you can no longer properly parent your child:
- You could be facing extreme financial hardships like unemployment, debt, or homelessness. No mother wants to see her children lacking their basic needs.
- You may be in crisis. If your home life has become abusive, you may fear for your child’s safety.
- Your child may have special needs that you don’t have the resources to support.
- Your mental or physical health may prevent you from giving your child a hopeful future.
If you feel that you can no longer offer your child the life you wish for her, you are not alone, and you do have options.
Your Adoption Rights and Choices
One of those options is adoption. Lifetime Adoption can help mothers looking to place children up to age seven. Even if your child is a toddler or school-aged, you will have all the same rights and choices as a pregnant mother making an adoption plan for her baby. In addition, you will control all aspects of the adoption process:
Type of Adoption Plan
You still have the option to select a closed, semi-open, or open adoption plan. When you choose an open adoption plan, you keep the door open for updates and contact with your child in the future. Want to learn more about modern, open adoption? Check out our article, “What is Open or Semi-Open Adoption? Is It Right For You?”
Choice of Adoptive Family
You will have access to adoptive parent profiles so you can select the perfect family for your child. Each family has passed a background check and a home study to ensure they are qualified and ready to welcome a child into their home. Once you select a family, you can spend time getting to know them. You can rest assured that your child will be cared for by a family who holds the values and lifestyle you wish for him or her.
Access to Counseling
Making an adoption plan for an older child up is a difficult decision. Even though you are making choices that are best for your child, those choices can come with guilt and self-doubt. Lifetime’s coordinators are available 24/7 to help you process these complicated emotions. In addition, you can receive counseling from a professional, third-party therapist at no cost to you.
Access to Legal Services
Adoption laws can be complicated and are also different in each state. Open, no-cost access to legal services can help you navigate these unfamiliar waters. The adoption professionals at Lifetime Adoption are here to support you throughout the entire process.
Unique Challenges of an Older Child Adoption Plan
As you consider, “should I give my child up for adoption?” there may be some unique challenges for both you and your child. As you are weighing your options, consider the following:
- There are fewer families who are open to adopting older children, so it may take longer to find the perfect adoptive parents for your child.
- Your child may have health or behavior needs.
- Your child may already have a relationship with her father or other family members. Adoption will be a difficult transition for your child if they’ve already formed those bonds. If this is the case, you might consider a kinship adoption. When a family member adopts a child, familiarity could make the transition easier.
- You will need to adjust to your new role without your child.
Adoption is never a decision that should be taken lightly. We encourage you to examine your options and search your heart. Choosing adoption for your child may be the right decision for your unique circumstances. If this is what you decide, the adoption professionals at Lifetime Adoption will provide you with the resources you need to place your child in a safe, loving home.
Lifetime’s caring adoption professionals are ready to answer any questions you have about creating an adoption plan for your child. Call or text us anytime at
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on May 29, 2020, and has since been updated.
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is nationally recognized as an expert on open adoption. A Certiﬁed Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P.), Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, established in 1986. She has assisted in over 2,000 successful adoptions and was one of the ﬁrst adoption professionals on the Internet.
Caldwell’s life work is dedicated to educating and helping birth parents find the right adoptive parents for their child. She spreads the word about modern adoption through speaking appearances, webinars, online resources, and as a podcast show host.
She has written several award-winning books, including So I Was Thinking About Adoption, the first book of its kind. There are many reasons women choose adoption, and this short book is a comprehensive resource to make the best plan for you and your baby. Caldwell wrote So I Was Thinking About Adoption as a handy guide to the details of the adoption process.
Caldwell has made over 150 media appearances, including ABC News, CBS News, Larry King Live, CNN Headline News, NBC’s The Today Show, CNN’s The Campbell Brown Show, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN’s Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, and Dr. Laura.