“When I had my son at 20, I was so determined to make it work out. But, I didn’t have a college education, so I wasn’t able to get hired at a high-paying job. Single parenting seems impossible (my son’s dad disappeared when he heard I was pregnant). For the last two years, I’ve been working overtime at two jobs. I only see my son in the morning when I rush him to daycare and at night when I put him to bed. So, I’ve started thinking about adoption…”
As this woman’s story reveals, single parenting is tough. If the resources aren’t there for you, it can seem impossible. A few reasons why parents choose adoption include:
– Lack of support from family/friends
– Money issues
– Losing a job
– The death of a family member
– A long-term prison sentence
– The birth of another baby
– Post-partum depression
– And more…
First, it’s important to find out if you’re looking into adoption because of depression and/or anxiety or because of your life situation. Sorting through these issues can be complex, so the best place to start is with your doctor. Medication and/or therapy can work wonders. You may find that you’re back on track within a few months, and able to parent again. But if your depression and/or anxiety symptoms are really bad, we suggest talking this through with your physician and therapist before deciding on adoption.
But if you realize that your ability to raise your child has faded, it may be time to consider adoption. When thinking about making an adoption plan for your child, make sure to take advantage of Lifetime’s no-cost counseling. It’ll help you make sure this is what you want to do. We have licensed counselors we can refer you to, as well as peer counselors. A peer counselor is a woman who made the decision of adoption for her child.
Making sure that you have the counseling you need allows you to consider an adoption plan when your emotional hat is on straight, and you’re sure you’re doing what’s best for your child. Sometimes, women make the adoption choice after trying to parent. They realize single parenting isn’t always the best choice for their child.
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is nationally recognized as an expert on open adoption. A Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P.), Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, established in 1986. She has assisted in over 2,000 successful adoptions and was one of the first adoption professionals on the Internet.
Caldwell’s life work is dedicated to educating and helping birth parents find the right adoptive parents for their child. She spreads the word about modern adoption through speaking appearances, webinars, online resources, and as a podcast show host.
She has written several award-winning books, including So I Was Thinking About Adoption, the first book of its kind. There are many reasons women choose adoption, and this short book is a comprehensive resource to make the best plan for you and your baby. Caldwell wrote So I Was Thinking About Adoption as a handy guide to the details of the adoption process.
Caldwell has made over 150 media appearances, including ABC News, CBS News, Larry King Live, CNN Headline News, NBC’s The Today Show, CNN’s The Campbell Brown Show, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN’s Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, and Dr. Laura.
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