Many birth mothers have shared with us that after their adoption plan had gone through, their lives changed. Women who choose adoption can plan ahead for how they’ll handle those changes and adjust to life after adoption. In this post, we share tips from real-life birth moms on what helped them.
Give yourself time to process what you’ve been through. This can be a healthy, healing time if you’re honest and loving with yourself.
Below, 5 women who made an adoption plan through Lifetime give tips for life after adoption:
“Don’t shut down. At times I felt so alone. Trusting a couple close people to listen to or be a comfort really helped. My adoption coordinator was also a big help after the adoption. She arranged for me to talk with a counselor and with another woman who chose adoption. It helped to talk with people who understood what I was going through.”
“Ask for help. Sometimes I felt like I had to have all the answers. I learned to reach out before I felt overwhelmed. Speak up when you need information, a helping hand, or direction for the next step. People want to help.”
“Focus on the good. I thought about the reasons I chose this plan and of all the things I gave my son through adoption. It helped knowing I would stay in touch with him and his adoptive family. I like knowing they think of me and that I’m a part of their lives. It’s like we’re a big extended family!”
“Write a letter. It helped writing to my daughter and her and her family, even if I didn’t send it to them. I’d write about my feelings of love, my dreams for her, why I was thinking of her, what I want her to know about me or my family…whatever was on my heart.”
“Have patience. I had to give myself grace to go through things at my own pace. I took time for my feelings and experience. Through my daughter’s adoption, I learned to be kind to myself and set healthy goals for my life.”
This info was taken from our book, So I Was Thinking About Adoption…Consider Your Choices. Download a free eBook version here!
If you have questions or concerns we can help you with, please call us at 1-800-923-6784 or chat live.
As the Chief Operating Officer (COO) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.