Choosing adoption puts your baby on a path to a hopeful future. One of the first decisions you will make is what role you see yourself playing in that future. As you explore adoption, you’ve probably heard of the terms “open adoption” and closed adoption.” Wondering what the difference is between open and closed adoption? We’ll explain the differences between the two types of adoption, and the potential benefits and drawbacks to each type of adoption. Read on to learn more as you weigh your open vs. closed adoption options.
“When I found out I was pregnant at 19, I felt completely overwhelmed,” shares Jennifer, who placed her daughter for adoption three years ago. “I knew I wanted what was best for my baby, but I had no idea what that would look like or what choices I had. The hardest question I faced wasn’t just about adoption itself, but whether I could handle saying goodbye forever or if I wanted to remain connected to my child’s life. Understanding the different types of adoption plans helped me find the path that brought me peace.”
In the past, adoptions were carried out in secret. Birth parents had no communication with the adoptive family, and adopted children grew up knowing little to nothing about their birth history. Fortunately, that’s no longer what adoption looks like.
Today, the birth parents are in control of the adoption process. You can choose if a closed, semi-open, or open adoption plan works best for you and your baby. Most domestic adoptions in the United States are open adoptions, but there are circumstances where another option may be in the best interest of your child. As you learn about these three types of adoption plans, remember to keep an open mind and realize that your wishes could change in the future.
Closed Adoption Plans
- There is no contact between the birth parents and the adoptive family and child after the adoption occurs.
- An adoption agency will choose the adoptive family, not the birth parents.
- These plans are rare for domestic adoptions, but still the norm for international adoptions.
A closed adoption plan offers privacy and a sense of closure as you move on to the next stage of your life. This option could be in the best interest of your child if you know that your circumstances are unstable or unsafe.
“When I was 17, I placed my baby in a closed adoption because I thought it would be easier…a clean break to help me move forward,” reveals Tara. “I was told it would give me ‘closure,’ but instead, it left me with a lifetime of unanswered questions. For fifteen years, I’ve wondered if my daughter is healthy, if she knows she was adopted, what she looks like now. The not knowing became harder to bear over time, not easier. I’ve tried searching for her, but with the records sealed, it’s almost impossible. If I could go back, I would have chosen an adoption plan that left some door open for future contact. The finality of a closed adoption is something I wasn’t emotionally prepared to handle at such a young age.”
Before you commit to a closed adoption plan, consider whether or not your circumstances are permanent. Additionally, these plans are not reversible, so you will not be able to change your mind about contacting your child if your situation improves in the future. These are all things to keep in mind as you consider open vs closed adoption.
What Is a Semi-open Adoption Plan?
- Birth parents and adoptive families share some information with each other, such as their names and where they live.
- The adoption agency shares the birth parents’ medical information and history with the adoptive family..
- Limited contact between the birth parents and the adoptive family. Usually, the adoptive family sends pictures and updates to the birth parents. Communication does not usually include phone calls, visits, or video chatting.
- Adoption professionals help manage communication between birth parents and adoptive families.
Semi-Open Adoption and the Benefits
With a semi-open adoption plan, you won’t have to wonder if your child is safe and cared for. The updates you receive from the adoptive family will help you feel confident in your decision to choose adoption.
You might not be sure how much contact you want to have with your child in the beginning, but emotions and desires can change over time. As your child grows, she may have more questions and wish to reach out to you. Also, in the future, this may be something you desire, as well. With a semi-open adoption plan, you leave the door open to negotiate the type and amount of contact you have with the adoptive family.
Semi-open adoption plans are also beneficial if you live a great distance from the adoptive family, or if regular communication is not feasible.
What is an Open Adoption Plan?
- Birth parents and the adoptive family share information about themselves and decide on the amount of contact to maintain after the adoption takes place.
- The adoption agency shares the birth parents’ medical information and history with the adoptive family.
- Control of the adoption plan, including choosing the adoptive parents, is in the hands of the birth parents.
- Most modern domestic adoptions are open.
Benefits of Open Adoption
An open adoption plan has significant benefits for your child, the adoptive family, and you. These benefits are important to keep in mind as you consider open vs closed adoption.
Your child will grow up knowing her adoption story. She will learn that you did not “give her away.” Rather, you made the loving choice to give her a more hopeful future. Depending on the specifics of your open adoption relationship, your child may even have the chance to learn about her birth history directly from you.
With access to your medical history, the adoptive parents can make more informed medical decisions involving your child. And because they have a connection with you, they’ll be better able to support their adopted child’s developing identity.
You will receive emotional support throughout the entire adoption process. Also, the trauma of never seeing your baby again or wondering if your baby is safe are things you won’t have to worry about because you are in control of your relationship with the adoptive family.
To put it plainly, open adoption allows for more openness between you and the adoptive family, which can provide a sense of closure. You can take comfort in knowing that your child is growing up in a loving home, and you can remain involved in their life.
“Six years into our open adoption, I still get emotional when I receive photos of Ethan’s first day of school or videos of his baseball games,” says Maria, who placed her son for adoption. “The family sends updates monthly, and we have video calls on birthdays and holidays. Last year, when doctors needed family medical history during a health scare, I was able to provide critical information that helped with his treatment. There are still hard days when I wonder ‘what if,’ but seeing him thrive with his family while still having me in his life has confirmed I made the right choice. When he’s older and has questions, I’ll be there to answer them myself—that brings me tremendous peace.”
What are the pros and cons of open vs. closed adoption?
Open adoption offers significant benefits for all involved. For birth parents, it provides emotional closure and ongoing reassurance about their child’s well-being through continued contact with the adoptive family. They maintain some level of involvement in their child’s life and don’t have to experience the trauma of permanently losing contact.
For the child, open adoption creates an opportunity to understand their complete identity and birth history directly from their birth parents, helping them recognize they weren’t “given away” but placed in adoption through a loving choice. Research supports the positive benefits of open adoptions. According to one study, 84% of adoptees with ongoing contact with their birth parents reported high levels of satisfaction.
Adoptive parents benefit from access to medical history and background information, allowing them to make better-informed decisions about their child’s health and development.
Closed adoption, while less common today, offers different advantages. It provides complete privacy and a clean break for birth parents who want to move forward without ongoing contact. This option might be appropriate in situations where circumstances are unstable or unsafe.
However, closed adoptions come with significant drawbacks. They’re irreversible, meaning birth parents cannot establish contact later if their situation or feelings change. Children grow up with little to no information about their birth history, which can impact their sense of identity. Additionally, adoptive families lack valuable medical history that could be important for their child’s healthcare.
Semi-open adoption represents a middle ground, offering limited contact—typically through an adoption agency that manages communication. Birth parents usually receive updates and photos but don’t have direct interaction through visits, calls, or video chats. It also leaves the door open for potentially adjusting the level of contact in the future as circumstances and desires may change. Semi-open adoption can be particularly beneficial when distance makes regular communication challenging.
Open vs Closed Adoption: Making the Right Choice for You
While there are many benefits to an open adoption plan, only you can decide what is right for your future and your baby’s future.
Lean on your Adoption Specialist as you decide what type of adoption plan would be best for you. Be honest about your desires and expectations for the future. Lifetime Adoption provides you with access to counselors, attorneys, and birth mother mentors so you can plan the brightest possible future for you and your baby.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on July 10, 2020, and has since been updated.
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is nationally recognized as an expert on open adoption. A Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P.), Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, established in 1986. She has assisted in over 2,000 successful adoptions and was one of the first adoption professionals on the Internet.
Caldwell's life work is dedicated to educating and helping birth parents find the right adoptive parents for their child. She spreads the word about modern adoption through speaking appearances, webinars, online resources, and as a podcast show host.
She has written several award-winning books, including So I Was Thinking About Adoption, the first book of its kind. There are many reasons women choose adoption, and this short book is a comprehensive resource to make the best plan for you and your baby. Caldwell wrote So I Was Thinking About Adoption as a handy guide to the details of the adoption process.
Caldwell has made over 150 media appearances, including ABC News, CBS News, Larry King Live, CNN Headline News, NBC's The Today Show, CNN's The Campbell Brown Show, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN's Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, and Dr. Laura.
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