An adoptive father plays an essential role in welcoming a child through adoption. Adoptive fathers bring unique perspectives, experiences, and insights to the adoption process that deserve recognition and celebration. With Father’s Day approaching this weekend, it’s the perfect time to spotlight these remarkable men whose voices often go unheard in conversations about adoption, yet whose emotional journey, dedication, and love are fundamental to creating lasting bonds with their children.
Whether the decision to adopt a child came easily or took some discussion, adoptive dads share the same positive emotions when meeting their child for the first time. If you’re thinking about adopting but are nervous about the process, it’s helpful to take a look at what a few of Lifetime’s adoptive fathers themselves have to say about it.
When you’re deep in your adoption wait, it always helps to hear from other adoptive parents who have recently navigated the process and to receive a little help and encouragement. Know that if it worked for them, it can work for you, and then learn some tips along the way!
Lifetime Adoptive Fathers Share Their Experiences
How do adoptive fathers feel about the adoption process?
When asked what the most challenging part of the adoption process was for him, Lifetime adoptive father Sean answered, “We were a family-in-waiting for almost two years and that was that was the most difficult part. I remember we were approaching the two-year mark and we were starting to get nervous and thinking things wouldn’t happen. Both my wife and I work and we kept busy with that. We listened to all the seminars and kept as active with Lifetime as we could.”
“We had with a group of friends from church that were going through similar situations…trying to get families going and so we had good support there. But I think I was probably the one that cracked first and it was just I had almost given up.”
[My wife] Char and I talked it out and this is where we were and our pastor came over and talked to us and calmed me down and what not and we sort of accepted that as ‘let’s go on and move forward.’ We started going through the ‘what if’s?’ because of the two years and what we would do. Then, it was a couple weeks later we got our call that started the process [to adopt our daughter]!”
Sean’s candid reflection offers a lifeline to fathers who may be struggling with their own moments of doubt during the adoption wait. His willingness to admit that he “cracked first” and nearly gave up removes the pressure many men feel to be the unwavering pillar of strength throughout the process. Instead, Sean shows that experiencing despair after months or years of waiting doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human.
What’s particularly powerful about his story is how it demonstrates that reaching your breaking point doesn’t have to mean the end of your adoption journey. By talking openly with his wife, seeking support from their pastor, and leaning into their community, Sean and his family found a way to move forward just when hope seemed lost.
If you’re currently facing your own dark moments in the wait, Sean’s experience serves as proof that sometimes breakthrough comes right after breakdown, and that the call they’ve been waiting for might be just around the corner—even when it feels impossible to believe.
Raising a Child with Different Genes
Another Lifetime adoptive dad, Ryan, was asked by an adoptive father-in-waiting, “How did you cope with the loss of not being able to have a child that shared your genes?”
He said, “You know what, I thought about that before. Like, yeah, my kid’s probably not gonna look like me is that a big deal and yeah for me? You know, it doesn’t matter to me. My daughter has darker skin than I do, and her hair is curly and she’s got a lot of hair by the way. I mean, I wouldn’t I wouldn’t change one thing and I can speak for my wife she wouldn’t change one thing either. So, there is a little bit of that of that feeling of loss that yeah it would have been nice. But at the end of the day, man, I wouldn’t trade that little girl for anything in this world!”
Ryan’s honest acknowledgment of the grief that can accompany adoption—while simultaneously celebrating the joy of his daughter—gives other men permission to hold both feelings without shame. Many prospective adoptive fathers wrestle silently with questions about genetic connection, wondering if admitting these concerns makes them less committed to adoption or somehow “bad” future parents.
Ryan’s response shows that you can briefly mourn what might have been while wholeheartedly embracing what is. His vivid description of his daughter’s beautiful differences demonstrates how the features that initially represented “not looking like me” become the very characteristics he treasures most. For men grappling with similar questions, Ryan’s message is clear: those fleeting moments of wondering about genetic similarity pale in comparison to the overwhelming love you’ll feel for your child.
His declaration that he “wouldn’t trade that little girl for anything in this world” offers reassurance that any concerns about genetic connection will be completely overshadowed by the profound reality of being a father to the child who was always meant to be yours.
When Love Becomes Real: First Encounters
The moment an adoptive father first holds his child goes beyond all the ups and downs of the journey that brought them to that point. Whether the decision to adopt emerged from years of careful consideration, unexpected circumstances, or lengthy discussions, that pivotal first meeting carries emotion for many adoptive dads. It’s a moment where anticipation, hope, and sometimes anxiety converge into pure, overwhelming love.
These fathers describe feelings that range from immediate protectiveness to a deep sense of completion they never knew they were missing. “The moment they placed her in my arms, something just clicked into place inside me. I felt this overwhelming need to protect her, like she had always been mine to care for. It sounds crazy, but I felt complete for the first time in my life—like I had been walking around with a piece of my heart missing and suddenly found it,” says Chris, an adoptive father of two.
Some dads speak of an instant recognition—as if they were meeting someone they had always known. Others describe a gradual unfolding of connection that deepened with each shared moment, each small interaction building the foundation of their lifelong bond.
“I’ll be honest, I expected some kind of lightning bolt moment, but it wasn’t like that for us. It started with him grabbing my finger during that first visit, then the way he’d calm down when I held him,” shares adoptive father Isaac. “Each day we spent together, each small smile or the way he’d fall asleep on my chest—it was like we were writing our story together, one moment at a time. By the time the adoption was finalized, I couldn’t imagine my life without him.”
Lifetime Adoption
Every adoptive father’s story serves as a beacon of hope for those still waiting. When experienced adoptive dads share their journeys—the challenges they overcame, the unexpected joys they discovered, and the deep fulfillment they found in adoptive parenthood—they create a ripple effect of encouragement that extends far beyond individual conversations.
The adoption journey may be unpredictable, but the destination—welcoming a child into a loving family—remains constant. Through the shared wisdom of adoptive fathers who have walked this path, future dads can find both the practical guidance and emotional support they need to navigate their own unique journey toward parenthood.
If you’re interested in adoption and want to talk about how to get started, please get in touch with Lifetime Adoption. We have years of experience helping hopeful parents add a sweet child to their family.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on June 15, 2018, and has since been updated.
Heidi Keefer is a Content Creator for Lifetime Adoption and has over 15 years of experience in the field of adoption. An author of thousands of articles and social media posts over the years, Heidi enjoys finding new ways to educate and captivate Lifetime’s ever-growing list of subscribers.
Heidi has a keen eye for misplaced apostrophes, comma splices, and well-turned sentences, which she has put to good use as a contributor to Lifetime’s award-winning blogs. She has written and published hundreds of adoption articles which explore the various facets of domestic infant adoption today.
0 Comments