When you’re dealing with an unexpected pregnancy, you have several options. If abortion isn’t something you’re comfortable with, and you’re not ready to become a mom, adoption is another option. As you weigh your options, you might want to consider a private adoption.
As a nationwide private adoption agency with over 35 years of experience with private adoptions, we aim to help guide you through your questions about adoption.
If you feel you’re ready to learn more about private adoption, but aren’t sure what you should do first, here are some suggestions to help you get started.
What is Private Adoption?
“Private adoption” goes by several names, including infant adoption, domestic adoption, and newborn adoption. In a private adoption, you can make the decisions as a birth mother. When you decide to make an adoption plan for your child, it only makes sense that you decide who adopts them. With a private adoption, birth parents can:
- Look through adoptive family profiles to search for the perfect parents for their child
- Get the help of an adoption attorney to learn their rights
- Decide to meet with prospective adoptive families
- Create a plan for how things are handled at the hospital when she delivers
Where Can I Get Help With a Private Adoption?
As you begin making choices about your baby’s future, keep in mind that getting help from others doesn’t mean giving up control!
Private adoptions use the help of adoption professionals such as Lifetime, which is a great option that lets you make your own choices and create your own adoption plan while also giving you the expert help of people who will be looking out for what is best for you.
In a private adoption, you are in charge; the experts are just there to help you along the way. They are not there to make decisions for you or tell you what to do.
On Lifetime’s website, you’ll find prospective adoptive parents who fit your needs and are serious about adopting. You will get to meet the adoptive parents so you can get to know one another. Then, you will decide what happens at the hospital, and you can also choose how much contact you want to have with the family after the adoption is final.
If you decide to stay in contact, Lifetime can help you find ways to keep in touch with the adoptive family, such as through social media, emails, texts, phone calls, or visits. Lifetime’s Adoption Coordinators are here to give you compassionate and personalized attention. They can provide medical, legal, public aid, and housing referrals, including information about child care and health care. And all of Lifetime’s services are free to you, the birth parent.
Let our experienced adoption experts help by:
- Answering your questions
- Showing you prospective adoptive parents who fit your needs
- Arranging the first phone call with the adoptive parents you choose, so you can get to know one another.
- Helping you decide what happens at the hospital and how much contact you want to have with the family after the adoption is final.
Is a Private Adoption Confidential?
We understand that adoption is an emotional decision and one that you might not be ready to share with the world.
“I’m a college sophomore and just found out I’m pregnant. The guy who got me pregnant has made it clear he’s not ready to be a dad and isn’t sticking around. He offered to pay for me to get an abortion,” a 19-year-old woman shared with us. “I’m not sure what to do because there’s no way my pregnancy could stay a secret for all nine months!”
Like her, many women think about getting an abortion to hide their pregnancy. However, this is a permanent solution to a temporary situation. Adoption gives you a compromise: it means that you don’t have to become a mom right now, yet you’re giving a life to your child.
Your decision about a private adoption is between you and the adoptive parents. Lifetime keeps all your adoption information completely confidential. Our experienced adoption professionals are here to look out for your best interests and help you along the way.
It’s also possible to move temporarily to complete an adoption. There’s a way to keep both your pregnancy and your adoption private.
With a private adoption, it’s important to remember that you have control, including on social media. Here are some suggestions about social media during your adoption journey:
- Assume everything you post will be there forever.
- Never share information about your child or the adoptive parents.
- Never share information about your adoption plan.
- Ask your Adoption Coordinator to help you create a social media plan of action before and after the adoption. If you have a plan in place, it helps you and the adoptive parents decide on boundaries.
- Always check the privacy settings on your social media sites. Find out who has access to the information you’re posting. Will these people have access to information about the adoption? Also, be aware that friends can share your posts, which opens your information to a broader audience beyond who you know.
Private Adoption
With a private adoption, it’s important to remember that you have control over who adopts your child. You and the adoptive parents will discuss how much you’ll stay in touch in the future. The professionals at Lifetime are there to look out for your best interests and help you along the way.
Adoption gives your baby loving and stable adoptive parents. It fulfills the prayers of an adoptive couple who may not otherwise have been able to become parents. Not only that, but adoption can help you to move on from this challenging period in your life.
Please do not hesitate to call or text us on our 24-hour hotline at 1-800-923-6784. We have compassionate and well-trained staff available all day (and night!) to answer your questions about adoption or Lifetime Adoption’s services for birth parents.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on October 24, 2014, and has since been updated.
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.
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