If you’re thinking about placing your baby for adoption, it’s important to learn all you can. Adoption isn’t a decision you’ll want to make overnight. Maybe you’re wondering about the reasons why women choose adoption. In this guest article by Tori, a birth mother who selected adoptive parents for her baby using Lifetime’s help, she shares, “Here’s why I chose adoption.” It’s an honor for us to share Tori’s story here:
“I discovered I was pregnant when I was 24. I was single and enlisted in the Navy. When I told my family, no one wanted to help me. My aunt even said, ‘You made the bed; now you need to sleep in it!’ By that, she basically meant it was my responsibility to figure out what to do.
I realized I wasn’t going to be getting any support from my family. So I had to make a quick decision because I was to be shipped out in a few months. Abortion wasn’t an option for me, so that’s why I chose adoption. I wanted my baby boy to grow up in a two-parent home where he would be provided for and loved unconditionally.
A friend of mine recommended Lifetime Adoption. When I called them, I talked to a friendly adoption coordinator who answered my questions. I explained to her why I wanted to choose adoption, and she explained the adoption process and gave me the forms I needed to fill out to get started.
My Adoption Coordinator, Veronica, asked me what I was hoping for in my baby’s adoptive parents. I explained my hopes and dreams for my child. She explained open adoption, where a birth mother stays in contact with the adoptive parents and her child. Open adoption sounded exactly like what I’d hoped for, to know my child throughout his life into adulthood.
After I filled out all the forms, she sent me adoption profiles of different couples she thought would meet my criteria for my child’s adoptive parents. I was grateful as an expectant mother that I could pick the family who would adopt my son.
When my cousin’s friend placed her baby for adoption, the adoption agency chose the family without asking her first. I didn’t want the same thing to happen to me. I know there are kids who need homes, but I think a birth mother should be the one to pick the adoptive family for their child if that is what she wishes.
The Navy allowed me time off to deliver my baby and return to duty a couple of months later. The adoptive couple I chose received a call when I went into labor. I gave birth to my son a few minutes after they got to the hospital. As I’d requested in my hospital plan, my son went home with his adoptive parents.
Today, I stay in touch with the adoptive couple and my son through email, Facebook, and Instagram. I love it that wherever I am stationed in the world, I can get updates about my son. I mail him cards and pictures of all the places I travel to.
Because I get updates on my son, I know he’s cared for and loved. I can see in his eyes in the videos and photos they send me that he’s happy. If I ever want to see him in person, the adoptive couple has agreed to meet me for a visit. I don’t know where I’ll end up long-term, but I know he is in good hands which is such a comfort for me.
I knew raising a child wasn’t something I could do, and that’s why I chose adoption. I recommend that any woman who ends up in an unplanned pregnancy like me look into adoption. Adoption isn’t what it used to be; you’re in the driver’s seat and make the important decisions about your child. Women today are empowered to review videos and profiles about hopeful adoptive parents so they can select ones that feel like a good fit. Women also decide how things go at the hospital when they deliver and how much they’d like to stay in touch with their child in the future.
Everyone I met at Lifetime was so kind and helpful. These women never made me feel judged but supported me in my decisions. Plus, all the profiles of couples who wanted to adopt a child were amazing. I’m confident I chose the perfect family for my son. That’s why I chose adoption; so my son could be happy and loved unconditionally his entire life.”
Getting the right support so that you can make the best choice for your baby is important. Learn more about adoption by calling or texting
Lifetime Adoption at 1-800-923-6784.
Lifetime Adoption at 1-800-923-6784.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on March 17, 2017, and has since been updated with more thoughts from Tori.
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.
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