Contact After Adoption

Birth parents often worry that adoptive parents might not honor their desire for ongoing contact after the adoption. A post-adoption contact agreement becomes valuable, helping to set clear expectations for everyone involved. A post-adoption contact agreement (PACA) is a written agreement between adoptive parents and birth parents that outlines the details of contact after the courts finalize the adoption.
 
It’s a way to ensure that birth parents and adoptive parents have a clear understanding of how and to what extent they will communicate or interact with each other and the child after the adoption. Please keep reading to learn what a post adoption contact agreement is and how it works in open adoption.
 

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Building a Relationship for Contact After Adoption

Building a relationship with the adoptive parents before the adoption and having open, honest discussions about future contact can lay the groundwork for a positive connection. These conversations allow you to express your hopes and understand theirs.
 
For example, it may not be a good fit if you envision in-person visits each year, but the adoptive parents are only comfortable with occasional email updates. Setting expectations early on can help prevent misunderstandings and promote a relationship that respects everyone’s needs.
 

Are Post Adoption Contact Agreements Enforceable? 

In some states, adoptive parents and birth parents sign a post adoption contact agreement, and it is filed with the adoption paperwork and becomes a legal, enforceable part of the adoption. However, other states don’t recognize it as a legally binding contract.
 
Lifetime Adoption supports these agreements, especially if it is in the best interest of everyone involved. The best way to truly ensure you have an open adoption, whether or not your state enforces a post adoption contact agreement, is to build and develop a relationship with the adoptive parents you choose.
   
There needs to be an agreement and meeting of the minds (and hearts!) before the adoption, or any post adoption contact agreement, whether enforceable or not, is simply not going to work the way you expect it to.
   

Being Honest About Post Adoption Contact

Be open and honest with your adoption professional about what kind of contact you’d like after adoption. At Lifetime Adoption, we believe strongly in open adoption because it benefits everyone involved. In an open adoption, the expecting mother can choose her child’s adoptive parents. She can also ask for the type and amount of contact she wants to have with her child and the adoptive family after placement.
   
Every adoptive family hoping to adopt through Lifetime is ready and eager to have an open adoption with you. We make it easy for you to consider and choose how you want to keep in touch. You can have contact in a variety of ways, like:

• Mailed letters and pictures
• Email
• Texting
• In-person visits
• Connecting via social media
• Phone calls
• …and more!

Lifetime Adoption’s Post Adoption Contact Agreement Form

With Lifetime Adoption, your Adoption Specialist will act as a go-between to ensure that you and the adoptive parents are on the same page. She will ask you to complete this online post adoption contact form as you move through the adoption process. Your Adoption Specialist is here to help you with the form if you need it.

After you name your wishes on the form, your adoption professional will share them with the adoptive parents you’ve chosen. Once you and the adoptive parents agree to the terms on the form, you and they will sign it. Lifetime will be here for you if you need help getting updates or changing your hopes for future contact.

It’s important to prioritize the child’s needs throughout the process of making a Post-Adoption Contact Agreement. It’s good to build some flexibility into the agreement since it is hard to predict the child’s changing needs as they grow up. Eventually, the child will have their own opinions about contact after adoption, and the grown-ups’ needs should come after the best interests of the child.
 

Benefits of Open Adoption

At the heart of open adoption is what is best for the child, and studies have shown that being upfront about the contact and the adoption story is definitely best for most children. Adopted children who know who their birth parents are and why they chose adoption tend to have higher self-esteem and a sense of identity.
 
“When my son was born, his adoptive parents welcomed both of us into their family. In many ways, we remained a team throughout his childhood,” shares one birth mother, Alecia, in a guest column she wrote for The Florida Times-Union. “They have always raised him to know that I love him and wanted the best for him when I chose adoption. In turn, I’ve been able to watch him grow up. Every day, I’m grateful for my son’s life and the joy he brings to the world.”
 
Research shows that PACAs often provide birth parents with the peace of mind they need to move forward with their plans. “Having a Post-Adoption Contact Agreement provides the birth parent with reassurance that he or she will always have the right to obtain information about the child,” according to The Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys. “That ongoing contact, in turn, typically reassures the birth parent that they’ve selected the best family for their child.”
 

Lifetime Adoption

We believe that a birth mother should know that her child is happy, healthy, and living the life she hoped they would live. That’s why, at Lifetime Adoption, we value the connection of open adoption. We will do our best to ensure that you have the opportunity to receive the future contact you wish.
 
If you’ve decided that you want to move forward with the adoption process, our experienced team at Lifetime Adoption is here to help. We’ll be there for you during the adoption process, as you complete the post adoption contact form, and afterward.
 
Call or text Lifetime today at 1-800-923-6784. We’re ready to help you any way we can, answer your questions, and provide support and encouragement.
 

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Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on October 22, 2021, and has since been updated.