Before You Adopt: Learn About Birth Mothers

by | Jun 12, 2017 | Adoptive Families Blog

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As you wait for a birth mother to choose you, there may be a wide range of emotions you’re experiencing from excitement to apprehension. Adoption is unpredictable: adoptions don’t typically occur in an organized, scheduled way. You may feel that you have little to no control over what happens during your adoption wait.  But you do have control: you can control what you’re doing to get ready for an adoption match. 

In this episode of our “Before You Adopt” series, we’re sharing about another activity that you can do before you adopt, and that’s to learn more about birth mothers. Read on to discover why educating yourselves about birth mothers now will benefit you later!

Consider this: if every birth mother were living a life that was easy, then she wouldn’t be thinking about adoption. Birth mothers typically have little support, are living paycheck to paycheck, and have been through a lot.  Part of what we can do for them is to show them simple kindness and compassion. 

Hopeful adoptive families who know a bit about what their birth mother is about are able to realize a stronger relationship with her.  Also, learning about birth mothers and their situation will help you explain your child’s adoption story to him or her in the future, when they ask about their birth mom.

Here are a few resources to learn about birth mothers and their situation:

Birth Mother Blogs:
Following Lifetime Adoption’s blog for women considering adoption will allow you to read firsthand about the guidance and tips we’re providing to potential birth mothers. Many women feel confused or conflicted when they begin looking into adoption. Our Birth Mother blog seeks to provide them with clarity by giving information about how adoption works. We also answer frequently-asked questions about making an adoption plan, and share birth mother’s adoption stories. 

learn about birth mothers 2-1.jpgThings I Wish All Adoptive Parents Knew
Written from a birth mother’s point-of-view, this list shares 15 things she wants all adoptive parents to know. You can read it over at

So I Was Thinking About Adoption:
This book was written by Lifetime’s Founder, Mardie Caldwell, and covers every aspect of adoption. The book helps women become better informed about how open adoption works. While there definitely isn’t a “typical” birth mother archetype or a standard birth mother, this book will give you a glimpse into where these women are coming from. You can purchase it on Amazon through this link:
So I Was Thinking About Adoption.

Adoption Webinars
Over at, you can hear and watch webinars of birth mothers sharing about their adoption experience. The birth mothers sharing their story in these webinars give insight from their personal experience, as well as answer questions from the audience. Their touching answers will help you see the beauty that open adoption offers a mother, a couple, and a child. It’s free to tune into webinars at; you simply need to register first.

Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P.

Written by Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P.

Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).

Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.

“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!

Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.

I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.

It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”

Read More About Mardie Caldwell

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