How Do We Know When To Do IVF or Adoption?

by | Feb 15, 2024 | Adoptive Families Blog

fertility treatments to adoption.jpgRecently on Lifetime Adoption’s Facebook page, we asked our followers about IVF or adoption. More specifically, we asked what they’d tell the hopeful parents who asked this question: 
“We have had fertility problems and were just referred to another specialist. We know there are new treatments all the time, but wonder how long we can pursue this path when we truly just long to be parents. We are open to adoption, but how do you know when to keep trying for pregnancy or to switch paths to start adopting?”

We’re sharing thoughtful answers from experienced adoptive families who struggled with infertility treatments today!


“After having our heart broken so many times we decided to adopt. Within 10 months we became parents to a beautiful baby girl through Lifetime Adoption. Less than a year later we became parents again with me giving birth to a handsome baby boy. God truly blessed us.”


“We were faced with the same dilemma. After so much disappointment with infertility we decided that maybe God had other plans for us. Once we shifted our focus away from having a biological child and just knowing that ultimately what we really want is to just be parents, the decision between IVF or adoption was easier for us. Now we are finally parents of a wonderful baby boy through adoption. Not only did we become parents, but we were able to be there for a birth mom who needed us (although, I feel like we needed her more!) We finally have that piece of us that was missing for so long during years of infertility.”


“What a profound question. We all have to find our path and journey. For me every doctor appointment, injection, test etc. I put my faith in Gods hand’s. I had always planned to adopt so this was never a plan b for me. I listened to my doctors, my heart and knew my child would come to me somehow. Now I have an inquisitive, sassy, ball of energy little girl. She was the child God always wanted me to raise. I knew it the second Lifetime called me, after meeting the birth mother and even more when the nurses placed her on my chest. I agree with Kim, I think the birth mother needed me as much as I needed her.”

Phillip and Jennifer

“Been there!! For years people would tell me that my heart would just know when I’d had enough. We would go through a failed cycle and have to deal with the physical, mental, and emotional letdown and roller coaster! We’d say we didn’t know what to do, then try again. One day after a failed attempt we discussed what we “wanted”. We wanted to have a child of our own and just like that we knew adoption was God’s plan for us all along. It took all that to get us to see. We knew we’d made the right decision when the desire to “try again” after someone had a successful IVF cycle or got pregnant off a new fertility medicine didn’t hit us anymore. God had a bigger plan all along and now we are expecting…don’t know when, but we are adopting and God is working on our baby!! It’s so exciting!!!”

The topic of moving from fertility treatments to adoption is a tender one, as Lifetime’s Founder (and adoptive mom) Mardie Caldwell can relate. Mardie shares about her journey to adopting here.

Resources for Deciding Between IVF or Adoption

If you’d like more info and advice about knowing when to stop fertility treatments and pursue adoption, here are some additional resources for you:

Heather Featherston

Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston

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