Making an adoption plan for your baby is a big decision and one that might make you feel uncertain. Many women thinking about adoption worry that they might regret their decision later on, and wonder, “What if I change my mind? Can I give my baby up for adoption and get her back later?”
Adoption is an important decision, and ultimately it’s your choice. If you’re not sure about the adoptive couple you choose, make sure to raise your concerns with your Adoption Coordinator. She is here to help you decide whether or not this is the right home for your child.
Laws on Adoption
After your baby is born, the amount of time you have to change your mind depends on which state you live in. Most states have a revocation period of at least a few days that will allow you time to reconsider. Typically, waiting periods range between 3 to 10 days after you sign the official paperwork. An adoption attorney can help you understand your rights, and make sure that you’re fully informed before you sign anything.
Why Did You Choose Adoption?
Before you stop the adoption plan, it’s important to remember why you chose adoption for your baby in the first place. Has anything changed in your life that would make parenting easier? Is there a specific reason why you don’t want to do adoption now?
Here are some common reasons women have for choosing adoption:
- Unable to support a child financially
- Don’t have a safe environment for raising a child
- Parents won’t let you live at home with your baby
- Baby’s father won’t provide child support, so you’d be raising a child alone
- Too young to become a mom
- Already have children, and can’t raise another
- Raising a child will get in the way of your future plans
- Want to provide your child with a better life than the one you can right now.
- Can’t go through with an abortion, or it is too late in the pregnancy to have one
Take the time to truly consider your feelings, plans, and what will work in the long-term. Be honest with your adoption agency and communicate clearly both them and the adoptive parents you’ve already chosen to adopt your baby.
And remember that it’s never too late to choose adoption. So, if your parenting plans don’t go as you hope with your baby, you can always come back to adoption.
Throughout your adoption planning process, Lifetime encourages you to seek counseling. At no cost to you, we will connect you with a licensed third-party counselor. By “third-party,” we mean that this counselor has no personal interest in whether or not you follow through with adoption. She is there to help you sort through the range of emotions you might be dealing with.
Peer counseling is also available to you, for free. In peer counseling, you’ll be chatting with another mom who chose adoption. She can tell you what to expect as you get closer to your baby’s birth because she’s been where you are right now. If you’re having hesitations about going through with the adoption, you can share those with her.
The best thing you can do is prepare yourself with as much information as possible. Seek out support as you make your decision, from your counselor or a close friend. We understand that adoption is a tough decision to make. Even when you’re on the right path, there may be moments of doubt.
We’re not here to pressure you into adoption. At the end of the day, adoption is your decision and you have rights.
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.