How to Be Honest With Your Baby’s Father

Discovering that you’re pregnant when you’re not ready to parent undoubtedly brings up lots of emotions. When it comes to your baby’s father, you might be worried about how to tell him you’re pregnant. If you’re thinking about hiding the pregnancy from him and then hiding his identity during the adoption process, don’t. Today, we’re going to tell you why telling him you’re pregnant is important.

It’s important to be honest with your baby’s father when you’re making an adoption plan. But if you’re not able to talk to him, Lifetime can handle it for you.

Everyone’s situation is different. Sometimes women worry that they won’t be able to choose adoption because of their baby’s father. Lifetime can help you no matter your situation. We can help if:

• You don’t know who your baby’s father is
• Your baby’s father is in jail
• You’re not sure what his name is or where he lives
• Your baby’s father won’t cooperate with the adoption
• You’re married, but your husband isn’t the baby’s father

At this point, you might be wondering how you’ll tell him you’re pregnant. Wouldn’t it be easier if you just kept him in the dark? Here are 4 reasons why it’s best to be up-front with your baby’s father:

1. Gives Your Child Medical Info
The more info that’s available for your child’s family history, the better. Your child will need his or her medical information throughout their lives. (Just think of how many times you’re asked about your family history at the doctor!) When you’re honest with your baby’s father about your adoption plans, he can share his family medical history, making your child’s medical information complete.

2. Makes the Adoption Possible
While it’s hard to tell him that you’re pregnant and have decided on adoption, it’s better than what would happen if he learns of his child in the future. It’s best to be honest and upfront with him now.

If you’re uncomfortable telling him you’re pregnant, we can help you. We can help you find the words, or we can notify him of your pregnancy and adoption plans entirely.

Some women bring their baby’s father into the adoption process and work together to pick an adoptive family. You can learn more about this option in our post, 4 Ways the Birth Father Can Support Your Adoption.

3. Allows Your Child to Know Their Birth Father
Often, adopted children have questions as they grow up. They might ask about their birth parents, who they are, and why they chose adoption. By identifying your baby’s father, you’re giving your child this important info they’ll be asking about in the future.

4. Respects His Rights
When you share your baby’s father’s identity, you’re making sure his rights are recognized during the adoption. This will help your adoption plan move more smoothly. You can learn about his rights here: Birth Fathers’ Adoption Legal Rights.

As you can see, being honest with your baby’s father will help to simplify and ease the adoption process. If you’re not comfortable with telling him of your pregnancy and adoption plans, Lifetime can help.

Written by Mardie Caldwell Certified Open Adoption Practitioner

Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is nationally recognized as an expert on open adoption. A Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P.), Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, established in 1986. She has assisted in over 2,000 successful adoptions and was one of the first adoption professionals on the Internet.

Caldwell’s life work is dedicated to educating and helping birth parents find the right adoptive parents for their child. She spreads the word about modern adoption through speaking appearances, webinars, online resources, and as a podcast show host.

She has written several award-winning books, including So I Was Thinking About Adoption, the first book of its kind. There are many reasons women choose adoption, and this short book is a comprehensive resource to make the best plan for you and your baby. Caldwell wrote So I Was Thinking About Adoption as a handy guide to the details of the adoption process.

Caldwell has made over 150 media appearances, including ABC News, CBS News, Larry King Live, CNN Headline News, NBC’s The Today Show, CNN’s The Campbell Brown Show, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN’s Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, and Dr. Laura.

Read More About Mardie Caldwell