If you’re a teen and have just discovered you’re pregnant, you might feel scared, confused, or shocked. You might think, “This can’t really be happening,” and wonder, “How can I tell my parents I’m pregnant?!” No matter how close you are to your parents, you probably aren’t sure how they’ll react.
It may be hard to talk to your parents about your pregnancy, especially if you’re not sure how you feel about it yet. Remember, your pregnancy could be a shock to them. They may also be surprised to learn you’re sexually active.
Most likely, your parents want to be there for you, to support you the best way they can! Show them you’re taking this seriously and making healthy, responsible decisions at this time.
This blog about how to tell my parents I’m pregnant is for you whether you just found out you’re pregnant or you’ve suspected it for a while. We want you to know:
- You are not alone; help is available.
- You have options, including adoption.
- You can have an informed, mature conversation with your parents.
- You can make a healthy plan for yourself and your baby.
Here are some tips to have an open and honest conversation with your parents — and figure out what to do next.
How to Tell My Parents I’m Pregnant – Where Do I Start?
Telling your parents you’re pregnant is a big moment, so it helps to plan ahead. Choose a private and comfortable place where you can talk without distractions. Before you break the news, take a little time to prepare yourself for how they might react. They could be excited, surprised, or even need some time to process it, and that’s okay. The key is to stay calm and open to the conversation. Let them share their feelings, ask questions, and talk through what comes next together.
Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to tell your parents you’re pregnant:
1. Know the Facts and Options
Before you talk with your parents:
- Figure out how far along you are or your estimated due date.
- Learn the truth about your pregnancy options.
- Come prepared with facts, not guesses.
- Consider what you want to discuss with your parents, such as your plans for the pregnancy, who the father is, and what support you need.
2. Think About Your Plan
Before you tell your parents, take time to process your own emotions and decide what you want to discuss with them. No one, not even a parent, can force you to make a choice about your pregnancy. You’re the mother of your baby; you have rights and will make the decisions. Be honest with yourself so you can focus on what you want for yourself and your baby’s future.
Decide how you feel about bringing another life into the world. Once you know where you stand, it will be easier to communicate those feelings and choices with your loved ones. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
- How much will my parents help with my baby? Can I live at home? Will they help out financially?
- What are my childcare options?
- Will my baby’s father help or be involved?
- Would my parents support me if I chose an option like modern adoption? Would they want to be involved?
- How do I feel about putting my education on hold to care for my baby?
You have time to decide what you want to do, and you can learn about your options without obligation. Talk with a professional for answers.
3. Choose the Right Time and Place
Choose a private and comfortable setting. A quiet, safe space where you can have an open and honest conversation is best. Make sure you don’t have anywhere you have to be, and choose a location that allows you to express your feelings and hear others’ feelings openly. This will give you the chance to understand one another without fear of being overheard.
Also, consider the timing: Think about when your parents are likely to be receptive and have time to process the news. Don’t be afraid to call them on the phone or meet in a public setting if you feel it’s necessary for your safety or comfort. You can also bring a trusted friend or adult for extra support if you need it.
4. Share the News
Try to be calm and direct. Start by saying something like, “Mom and Dad, I have some important news I need to share with you,” or “I have something I want to talk to you about.” Then, share the news clearly and directly, without sugarcoating it. Try to avoid arguing with them. Instead, be willing to listen and answer their questions.
Your parents might have a range of reactions: they may be surprised, happy, sad, or even angry. Try to remain calm and patient. Give them time to process the news and express their feelings. Be prepared to answer their questions and discuss your plans for the future. If the conversation becomes too emotional, suggest taking a break and continuing later.
Offer to talk about it again soon, especially if they need to process what you’ve told them. Remember, all parents have dreams for their children. Just because an unplanned pregnancy wasn’t part of their hopes for you doesn’t mean they won’t be there for you.
When to Tell Your Parents You’re Pregnant
Finding the right time to tell your parents you’re pregnant can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to go through it alone. It’s usually best to have the conversation sooner rather than later, especially if you need their support in making decisions about your health and future.
Waiting too long might add stress or limit your options, so try to choose a time when you feel as ready as possible. If you’re scared about how they’ll react, that’s completely normal. Remember, their first response might be shock or concern, but that doesn’t mean they won’t be there for you in the long run.
Be honest and let them know how you’re feeling. This might be one of the hardest conversations you’ve ever had, but it’s also an important step toward figuring out what comes next.
How to tell your parents you’re pregnant when they won’t be happy
Telling your parents you’re pregnant when you know they won’t be happy is really tough, but you don’t have to go through it alone. The best thing you can do is prepare yourself for their reaction and try to stay as calm as possible.
If you’re scared, it might help to bring a trusted friend, sibling, or other supportive adult with you to help you. If you think your parent’s reaction could include physical, emotional, or verbal abuse, be careful. You might tell them over the phone from a safe place, bring a friend for support, or even meet them in a public setting.
Their initial reaction might be shock, disappointment, or even anger, but that doesn’t mean they won’t eventually come around. Give them time to process the news, and try to keep the conversation open.
No matter what, remember that this is your life, and you deserve support and understanding as you figure out what comes next.
Lifetime Adoption
Before you decide, get answers about adoption and how it would work in your situation. Lifetime can help! We provide free and confidential nationwide help and resources for an unplanned pregnancy.
Adoption is a positive choice if you’re not ready to become a mom right now. With modern, open adoption, you won’t be saying goodbye to your baby forever. You can get updates on your child through emails, pictures, video calls, and even meet up in person. You also get to choose the family to adopt your baby and decide how much contact you want after the adoption is final.
You’ll be able to see your child grow and succeed in their new home, knowing you made a loving decision that also fulfilled an adoptive family’s dream.
You might start parenting and realize it’s not the right choice for you and your baby. It’s never too late to choose adoption. You can always call or text Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on April 17, 2015, and has since been updated.
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.
Excellent blog post thanks for sharing