If you’re a teen and have just discovered you’re pregnant, you might feel scared, confused, or shocked. You might think, “This can’t really be happening,” and wonder, “how to tell my parents I’m pregnant?!” No matter how close you are to your parents, you probably aren’t sure how they’ll react.
It may be hard to talk to your parents about your pregnancy, especially if you’re not sure how you feel about it yet. Remember, your pregnancy could be a shock to them. They may also be surprised to learn you’re sexually active.
Most likely, your parents want to be there for you, to support you the best way they can! So show them you’re taking this seriously and making healthy, responsible decisions at this time.
This blog about how to tell my parents I’m pregnant is for you whether you just found out you’re pregnant or you’ve suspected it for a while. We want you to know:
- You are not alone; help is available.
- You have options, including adoption.
- You can have an informed, mature conversation with your parents.
- You can make a healthy plan for yourself and your baby.
Here are some tips to have an open and honest conversation with your parents — and figure out what to do next.
How to Tell My Parents I’m Pregnant – Where Do I Start?
1. Know the Facts and Options
Before you talk with your parents:
- Figure out how far along you are or your estimated due date.
- Learn the truth about your pregnancy options.
- Come prepared with facts, not guesses.
2. Think About Your Plan
No one, not even a parent, can force you to make a choice about your pregnancy. You’re the mother of your baby; you have rights and will make the decisions. Be honest with yourself so you can focus on what you want for yourself and your baby’s future.
Decide how you feel about bringing another life into the world. Once you know where you stand, it will be easier to communicate those feelings and choices with your loved ones. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
- How much will my parents help with my baby? Can I live at home? Will they help out financially?
- What are my childcare options?
- Will my baby’s father help or be involved?
- Would my parents support me if I chose an option like modern adoption? Would they want to be involved?
- How do I feel about putting my education on hold to care for my baby?
You have time to decide what you want to do, and you can learn about your options without obligation. Talk with a professional for answers.
3. Have the Conversation
- Choose a time when you will have total privacy. Make sure you don’t have anywhere you have to be and choose a location that allows you to express your feelings and hear others’ feelings openly. This will give you the change to understand one another without fear of being overheard.
- If needed, bring a trusted friend or adult for extra support.
- As you begin, ask your parents to hear you out before they say anything.
- Be honest and try to avoid arguing. Be willing to listen and answer their questions.
- Share the plan you’ve made for your baby or ask them to help you make a plan.
- Offer to talk about it again soon, especially if they need to process what you’ve told them. Remember, all parents have dreams for their children. Just because an unplanned pregnancy wasn’t part of their hopes for you doesn’t mean they won’t be there for you.
What is My Baby Doing?
By the time you miss a period, your pregnancy is already at least four weeks along. Most pregnancies last 40 weeks when counted from the date of your last period. Here’s *how she’s growing:
4 to 7 Weeks
- Beating heart
- Arms & legs
- Eyes & ears
8 to 10 Weeks
- Responds to touch or pain
- Brain waves
12 to 15 Weeks
- Fully formed
- Big as a lime
- Can swallow & make a fist
16 to 22 Weeks
- Start to feel baby kicks
- Can hear
- Weighs over 1 pound
- About 12 inches long
25 to 36 to Weeks
- Can blink
- Size of a soccer ball
* Not actual-size models. Prenatal care is important for you and your baby. See a doctor for more information.
“I’ve been there”…Mikaela’s Story
“I was 17 when I got pregnant. It was a scary, kind of exciting, super confusing, and overwhelming time. I’d planned to go to college, get married, and have kids someday. But my boyfriend had other plans that didn’t include raising a child with me…”
“It was hard to tell my parents, but I’m so glad I did. They helped me make a decision and a plan.”
Before you decide, get answers about adoption and your situation. Lifetime can help! We provide free and confidential nationwide help and have counseling available to you.
Getting the right support so that you can make the best choice for your baby is important. Call or text Lifetime Adoption at 1-800-923-6784 to learn more about adoption and get your questions answered.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on April 17, 2015, and has since been updated.
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.