How to Tell People You’re Choosing Adoption

by | May 5, 2017 | Birth Parent Blog

telling people about your adoption plan.jpgOnce you’ve decided to make an adoption plan, you’re probably thinking about how you’re going to share the news with your friends and family. Maybe you haven’t yet told them you’re pregnant. You might be looking for their approval that you’ve made the right decision. So, sharing this news may be difficult. Get Lifetime’s tips on how to tell them you’re choosing adoption!

The truth is, you’re the only one who knows whether you’re making the right decision in choosing adoption. Lots of people don’t really understand how open adoption works nowadays, and so they might have negative views about it. What can help right now is to prepare yourself to explain why you decided on adoption. Also, know that your family and friends may need time to understand your decision.

What if I haven’t told anyone I’m pregnant?

Telling your family and friends the news about your unplanned pregnancy is where you need to start. After that, give them time to let that news sink in before you share about your adoption plans. Remember how you felt when you got that positive pregnancy test?  Maybe you felt shocked, disappointed, and nervous about the future. People in your life who care about you need time too, to process the news of your unplanned pregnancy.

Sometimes, their first reaction isn’t about what’s best for you. They might be thinking they should have done a better job as a parent or friend and are thinking how pregnancy will affect their lives. Try to be mature and calm, even if they’re not supportive. Tell them about your situation and that you’ve already decided what you’ll do about your unplanned pregnancy.

Who should I tell about my adoption plans?

It’s up to you who you want to tell about your adoption plan.  We suggest that you tell only those who you trust and feel comfortable talking to. But don’t go into it expecting a certain reaction from a family member or friend. Your parents might be disappointed, or mad. They may just need to process their emotions before they can start to understand your decision.

Your friends may react by being excited that you’re going to have a baby and might try to convince you to parent or that they’ll help out. The reality is, they have their own lives and will eventually want to move on. They won’t always be there to help you.

Try to share your news one person at a time, instead of telling a group. We suggest that you start by talking to the member of your family who you think will be the most supportive. If they’re supportive, they can help with answering questions from others and calming their fears. You could also ask them to support you by being there when you tell others about your adoption plan.

Now what?

After you’ve told your friends and family about your adoption plan, it’ll be a relief. Our Adoption Coordinators are here if you need to talk about your concerns and fears. They can even speak with your family members or friends, if they have questions.

Would you like to talk to an Adoption Coordinator more about sharing the news with your family and friends?

Call or text Lifetime Adoption at 1-800-923-6784.

Heather Featherston

Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston

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