We live in uncertain times. This reality hits hardest when a woman finds herself in an unwanted pregnancy. It can be a lonely, scary experience made worse if she can’t afford to raise the child.
Choosing adoption empowers a woman to give life and provide a loving home for her child. So, what if you’re thinking about adoption because you can’t afford to raise another child?
If you’re already a parent and have just found out you’re pregnant again, you might be overwhelmed and scared by the responsibility of raising another child. For some women in this situation, making an adoption plan is the best solution, since it allows her to provide a good, loving home for the child while caring for her other children.
Lifetime is here to help you in your adoption planning, provide support, and help you find just the right adoptive family. We believe that a woman who chooses adoption can have peace, knowing she’s not only given her child life but found a wonderful, loving family.
Erin was a 33-year-old single mom of a teenager when she found out she was pregnant. With no father in the picture plus raising a teenager and working two jobs, Erin knew she couldn’t afford to raise another child.
She was scared, but she found comfort knowing that adoption was a possibility. To Erin, the choice to give life was right, and choosing adoption allowed her to give her child the best life possible. Her adoption coordinator at Lifetime Adoption that helped her create an adoption plan and find the perfect family for her baby.
Because she wanted an open adoption, she met the family while she was still pregnant, allowing them to experience the baby’s growth and development. After her son was born, she held him, knowing she had made the best possible choice for her child, the adoptive family, and for herself.
Emily, the mother of a four-year-old child with special needs, was pregnant with her second child when her husband walked out.
Raising her special needs daughter was a full-time job, and the stress took a toll on her marriage. She knew she couldn’t raise another child by herself. After lots of soul searching, she decided that placing her baby in adoption was the best choice, especially for her four-year-old child.
She worked with a Lifetime Adoption coordinator that provided her the guidance needed to find the perfect family for her baby. She was grateful that she could give her child a loving family while giving her four-year-old the care she needed.
The Cost of Raising a Child
People often underestimate the financial cost of raising a child. According to the latest report from the U.S. Department of Agriculture, an average family can spend from $12,350 and $13,900 annually per child. This includes everything needed for a child in one year, such as:
- Health insurance
The total cost of raising a child from baby until 18 years comes out to around $235,000, not including college costs. That’s a significant investment for women facing an unwanted pregnancy and knowing she can’t afford to raise another child. Under these circumstances, adoption is often the best way for her to provide for her child.
Many misinformed people spread adoption myths. There are still some outdated ideas about how or when a woman can place a baby for adoption. These myths spread guilt and put pressure on pregnant women who find themselves unable to afford to raise a child. Let’s clear up these four myths about adoption:
Myth #1: Adoption isn’t a loving choice
A woman in an unwanted pregnancy may feel scared and lonely, but she may also think that placing her baby up for adoption isn’t a loving choice. There could be undue pressure from family or friends for her to keep the child. It’s easy for outsiders to have their opinions about what you should do, especially if they aren’t the ones who will be raising the child.
Adoption is a loving, life-giving choice. It gives you the chance to love your child enough to want a better life for them through adoption and to choose an adoptive family.
Myth #2: Adoption eliminates a birth mother’s control
In open adoption, you make all the decisions. You choose the adoptive family you want to raise your child. It’s also up to you to decide how often you’ll see the child over the years. You can have a wonderful relationship with your adult child.
Adoption gives you as much control as you want. You can focus on taking care of yourself and your other children, knowing your child is growing up in a great family.
Myth #3: Adoption doesn’t allow closure
Today most adoptions are open, allowing birth mothers to meet their children as well as the adoptive family. In an open adoption, the birth mom usually determines what the relationship with her child will look like over the years. She can watch her child grow up in a loving family. Knowing she made the right choice gives her peace and confidence that she made the best choice for her child and for herself.
Adoption is more than giving up a baby for adoption; it’s placing a child in the best possible situation where they can grow and thrive. It allows for more healthy closure than abortion because you will have the knowledge that your child has the life you wanted for them.
Myth #4: Birth mothers won’t have a good relationship with adoptive families
Another common myth that birth mothers often hear is that she won’t be on friendly terms with her child’s adoptive family. This isn’t necessarily true.
While there are some difficult relationships, most birth mothers find that adoptive families are kind and loving. Plus, today, most adoptions are open, allowing the birth mothers and adoptive parents to get together several times before the adoption. This gives the birth mother a chance to learn more about the family, ask questions, and discuss how open the adoption will be. Adoptive families are loving people wanting to give a child a good home and family.
If you’re thinking about adoption because you can’t afford to raise another child, Lifetime can help.
About the Author
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P. is a nationally recognized authority on adoption. A Certified Open Adoption
Practitioner, Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, established in 1986.
Caldwell’s life work has been dedicated to educating and helping birth parents and adoptive parents through teaching, speaking, and resources and as a podcast host. Author of a number of award-winning books, Caldwell has more than 150 media credits to her name, including: Larry King Live, ABC News, NBC’s The Today Show, CNN Headline News, CNN’s The Campbell Brown Show, CBS News, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN’s Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, Dr. Laura, and is widely sought for print articles and speaking engagements.
Founder of Lifetime Adoption, adoptive mom, adoption expert, and Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P).
Since 1986, adoption expert Mardie Caldwell has been dedicated to bringing couples and birth parents together in order to fulfill their dreams.
“Many years ago, I was also searching for a child to adopt. We didn’t know where or how to get started. Through research, determination, and a prayer, our dream of a family became reality. I started with a plan, a notebook, assistance from a caring adoption consultant and a lot of hard work; this was my family I was building. We had a few heartaches along the way, but the pain of not having children was worse!
Within weeks we had three different birth mothers choose us. We were overwhelmed and delighted. Many unsettling events would take place before our adoption would be finalized, many months later. Little did I know that God was training and aligning me for the adoption work I now do today. It is my goal to share with our families the methods and plans which succeed and do not succeed. I believe adoption should be affordable and can be a wonderful “pregnancy” for the adoptive couple.
I have also been on both sides of infertility with the loss of seven pregnancies and then conceiving by new technology, giving birth to a healthy daughter. I have experienced first-hand the emotional pain of infertility and believe my experience allows me to serve your needs better.
It is my hope that for you, the prospective parents, your desire for a child will be fulfilled soon.”