Question: I just got a positive pregnancy test…help! Being a mom wasn’t something I planned on at 19! My baby’s dad and I have been dating for two years now. Would it be best if we just settled down now and got married? Then, we can try and raise this kid together…
Answer: Yes, maybe, just so you’re not marrying only because you’re pregnant. Getting married for the wrong reason sets you up for a higher risk of divorce, as opposed to a relationship that has had time to grow without the stress of an unplanned pregnancy.
It’s time to be real with yourself about your relationship with him. The decision to marry should be because you are both committed to each other and want be together. It shouldn’t be just because you’re freaking out about having a baby together.
Think about what you hope for your life before adding marriage and parenting into the mix. If you and your baby’s father aren’t ready to devote your lives to being parents, don’t put your child’s future at risk. It’s OK if you’re not ready or to decide you want more out of life before “settling down.”
What kind of home life do you want for your child? Do you feel ready and able to give him or her a stable and safe home? Is your boyfriend? If you’re not, adoption can give your child the kind of home life you desire for them. Check out our birth father adoption FAQ with your child’s father and communicate openly about your future.
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.