pregnant woman sits on a pierHave you been going back and forth between parenting and making an adoption plan? You might be wondering, “How can I figure out which is the right choice for me and my baby?!”

Unfortunately, there’s no road map or quick answer to tell you which route to take. The decision of whether to parent or do adoption might just be the toughest decision you’ll ever make in your entire life. 

For many women, it takes a lot of sleepless nights, prayer, and thought before they decide that adoption is the best choice for themselves and their baby, given their situation.

Here are 3 tips on how to put yourself in the best position so you can make this tough decision about adoption:

1. Take Your Time

We understand that an upcoming due date can make you feel rushed, but you don’t have to decide one way or another by the time you deliver.

Some women look into adoption during their pregnancy but ultimately decide to parent. Others struggle with parenting and choose to make an adoption plan after their baby is born.

It’s never too late to choose adoption, so please don’t let an impending due date push you into making a hasty decision.

adoption-questions2. Research & Ask Questions

Look into all your options and seek out others who have been in your position. Just by reading this, it’s pretty obvious that you’re doing some research, but also search for and talk to others like you.

For example, if you’d be a young mom juggling college courses and a baby, find others who have done the same. It’s a good idea to speak with a birth mother too.

If you’d like, Lifetime Adoption can connect you with a peer counselor, a birth mother who created an adoption plan for her child in the past. Call Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784 if you want to schedule a chat with a peer counselor.

Ask these women about the positives and negatives about the path they chose, what’s worked for them, and what hasn’t. While no two lives will end up the same, speaking with these women will give you a glimpse into what your life could look like on each possible path.

3. Write Out Your Plans

Put pen to paper and write out both a parenting plan and an adoption plan. What will each look like?

For your parenting plan, include stuff like your finances, and who will watch your child while you go to school or work. And for your adoption plan, write down the type of adoption you’d like as well and the kind of parents you envision for your baby.

Get all this down on paper so you can see what both plans look like. Oftentimes when you see what path is wrong for you, the right one becomes obvious.

We recognize that it’s not easy to choose between parenting and adoption, but it’s a decision only you have the power to make. Don’t let other people push you one way or the other or rush you into a decision. Try to give the decision-making process the time and attention it deserves.


Lifetime can give you the support and help you need as you consider if adoption is the best choice for your situation.

Just text or call us at 1-800-923-6784 with your questions!

Heather Featherston
Written by Heather Featherston

As the Chief Operating Officer (COO) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston


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