We often get questions about placing kids up for adoption who are 2, 3, 4, or even 5 years old. The quick answer to the question above is, “Yes, Lifetime can help you make an adoption plan for your child.”
If this is your question too, please know you aren’t alone. I recently took a call like this, and one of the things that stood out to me was how many of these conversations go the same way. Here are some of their common statements and questions, in hopes that if you are reading this, feeling the same, you know that Lifetime is a safe place for you to reach out for help.
How does the adoption process work for putting kids up for adoption?
We start by gathering some information from you about you and your child. We talk about the type of family you’d like for her and even give you information on waiting families. When you are ready, you can speak to one (or more), and once you find a good match, they will travel to you to meet and spend time with you both.
If you all agree to move forward, a transition plan will be drawn up for your child, and you will meet with an attorney to complete the legal process of the adoption. There is no cost to you, and you will have access to free counseling during the process as you desire. It can go at your pace.
Will I ever get to see her again or know how she is doing?
All of the families working with Lifetime Adoption are open to staying in touch with you through photos, email, texts, and even getting together for visits once or twice a year. Your child knows you, so it is natural that, if you desire, you remain a part of her life. Adoptive parents realize that too and will keep you informed and involved if you desire. Modern adoption is not goodbye forever.
How do I know the adoptive families are safe?
All of the families Lifetime will show you have completed what’s called the “Home Study Process.” It ensures they have had detailed background checks, home visits, interviews, medical exams, financial checks, and more. Additionally, you can meet and talk to them, asking them the hard questions you have for them. And, if there are more things you want to know that you aren’t comfortable asking, just ask your coordinator!
“I thought about adoption for her when I was pregnant, but my family talked me out of it. People said they would help, but it’s just not enough.”
This is something we hear so often at Lifetime. Friends and family want to help you, but when it comes down to parenting, it is a 24 hour, 18-year commitment that only a parent is truly able to do. Friends, family, and even church members may help some, but rarely are they there in the middle of the night, night after night. Considering placing kids up for adoptionadoption isn’t a failure – it’s a loving choice. It is never too late to consider adoption.
How do I know if placing kids up for adoption is the right thing to do?
That is a decision only you can make. We can provide you with independent licensed decision-making counseling, as well as access to peer support where you can talk to other women who have chosen adoption.
You are the one that knows the reality of your situation and your child’s life right now. You have to make the decision about what is best for your child. Our caring coordinators are happy to talk to you about your adoption questions, and you can even talk to waiting families as you consider your options. This may help you know if adoption is right for your child.
Will my child hate me?
No, your child will not hate you. Your child will grow up with the knowledge that you made the best decision you could for them in choosing adoption. Remember, you will remain a part of your child’s life if you wish so they will know you and your care for their well-being. And, even if you don’t choose to have an ongoing relationship, the adoptive parents you choose will share with your child the love you have that led you to adoption.
What is the next step to learning about placing kids up for adoption?
You can call or text one of Lifetime’s adoption coordinators now. Or, you may begin an adoption plan by completing the online information for placing an older kids for adoption. There is no obligation, and someone will walk with you every step of the way, answering your questions and helping you in the best way possible.
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.
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I have a autistic 10 year in foster care and I’m relinquishing rights and had a good faith written up to have an open adoption I’m having a hard time coping I know it’s for the best of my child I want only what is best for her and her other siblings for them all to be safe and grow happily I was promised help and after 4 years I’ve decided I want her to be able to flourish without me in the middle and having rights as a mother I had to be selfless and think of her over my own feelings and wants it hurts not to raise her I did it for 7 years so it’s painful but I want her to know that I love her and I’m only doing what I feel is right and hope she grows to know that I only ever loved her and I’ve never once didn’t want to give her up but her needs were mor SC then I could take on having my own sensory problems and ptsd and depression I felt like I was holding her back and I want her to thrive to the fullest
Thank you for sharing your story with our readers. It’s extremely courageous and loving to place your child with a caring family who is ready to provide them with all the things that you can’t right now.
Most birth mothers feel the grief and loss of their child after placement. These feelings of loss can be a big part of the adoption experience. Placing a child for open adoption means that birth parents and adoptive parents can discuss what happens after the adoption. That also means that you can play a role in your child’s long-term welfare by choosing the adopting parents herself and making a plan for ongoing contact for the future. This can make the grieving process easier.