Unplanned Second Pregnancy: What Are My Options?

by | Jul 30, 2021 | Birth Parent Blog

Pregnant mother with her child, thinking about how to handle her unplanned second pregnancyAn unplanned pregnancy can happen more than once. If you’re facing an unplanned second pregnancy and feeling overwhelmed at the thought of raising another child, it’s important to learn about all of your options. One option that you may not have thought about is adoption.

Lifetime has helped many women who were already parenting other children place the baby they were pregnant with for adoption. If you feel like you’re not ready or able to raise another child, adoption could be the best option for you.

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Why Choose Adoption for an Unplanned Second Pregnancy?

As you consider whether you should choose adoption for this unplanned second pregnancy, here are some things to know:

Adoption allows you to keep a relationship with your child

An open adoption will allow you to stay in touch with your child and the adoptive parents. Open adoptions allow you to choose how much communication you want with the adoptive family and your child. It can involve phone calls, emails, FaceTime calls, texts, and even visits. You’ll get to watch your child grow up, plus your other child can have a relationship with their younger biological sibling.

Adoption allows you to choose the adoptive family

When you choose to make an adoption plan, you are in control of who adopts your child. Lifetime Adoption has many pre-approved, loving adoptive parents located all over the nation who come from a variety of backgrounds and races. You can start browsing adoptive parent profiles today!

Adoption gives you access to counseling and support

Your Adoption Coordinator can answer all your questions and provide you with information about adoption. They’ll also be available to you 24/7 to provide a listening ear and encouragement. Depending on the state you live in, you can get financial help for some things, such as:

  • Professional counseling
  • Support from a member of our peer support team: these are women are birth mothers themselves, so they understand what you’re going through
  • Maternity clothing
  • Medical costs
  • Your rent
  • Groceries
  • Transportation to your doctor’s appointment
  • Legal fees: an adoption lawyer will help protect your rights during the adoption process.

Non-Judgmental Support from Lifetime Adoption

Lifetime Adoption has 30 years of experience helping birth mothers place their second, third, and even fourth babies for adoption. We’re familiar with the many situations birth mothers find themselves in, such as an unplanned second pregnancy. We will never judge you. We understand life happens and will work hard to help you in any way we can.

Placing a second child in adoption is a loving, courageous choice on your part. It allows you to provide your child with the best life you can, with a loving adoptive couple of your choice.

How Do You Explain Your Adoption Plan to Your Other Children?

Of course, an unplanned second pregnancy affects not only you but your children. If you choose adoption, it’s important to explain to your other child (or children) that you’re placing the baby you’re pregnant with for adoption. It would be best if you tried to:

  • Be honest. Kids are smart! They can easily pick up on what’s going on, so it’s best to be honest.
  • Use positive language. Never use words like “give away my baby” or “giving up.” Use words like “placing in another home” or “choosing adoption.”
  • Give your child assurance of your love for them and for the baby. Explain open adoption and how they’ll get to see their younger sibling as they grow up.
  • Give them the assurance they are safe with you. Since your child may think that you will place them for adoption, too, share with them that they will continue to live with you. Make sure they know you are there for them.
  • Allow them to express their feelings. These feelings may include fear, anger, curiosity, or sadness.
  • Seek help from your child’s school counselor. They can keep an eye on them at school, talk with them and offer you support, too.

How Will Adoption Help Both You and Your Child?

When you choose adoptive parents for the baby you’re pregnant with, you’ll be able to meet with them as many times as you want. This can help you get to know them better and find out if they’re the right parents for your baby.

Birth mothers often say that meeting with the adoptive family is like getting a second family. Adoptive parents and birth parents have a shared goal: to love the child and provide them with the best life possible. When you choose adoption, you don’t lose a child; you gain a family. You’ll get to see your child grow up into adulthood. Many birth mothers have wonderful relationships with their adult children who were placed for adoption.

The fact that your other child or children can visit with their younger sibling can be helpful to them. They’ll see that their younger sibling is happy and well cared for, which will help them not worry.

Options for an Unplanned Second Pregnancy

Life happens, and an unplanned second pregnancy can catch you by surprise. If you’re experiencing this right now, don’t despair. You have options, and one of them is to place your child for adoption.

Reach out to Lifetime Adoption to learn more by calling or texting 1-800-923-6784. We are ready to help you in any way we can, answer your questions, and provide you support and encouragement.

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Heather Featherston

Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston

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