“Why I Placed My Baby With a Single Mother”

by | Jan 24, 2017 | Birth Parent Blog

adopt out my baby to a single mother“Three weeks after a one night stand at a house party, I was feeling ‘off’. So, I peed on a stick in my bathroom right before my 8 am Psychology class. To my shock, I got a positive pregnancy test!

There were tons of thoughts running through my head when I found out I was pregnant. I had a hard time focusing. I told the guy I’d had the one night stand with, and he said that he didn’t want any kids right now. I didn’t want any either, but I was knocked up and had to make a decision.

Right off the bat, I knew that abortion wasn’t gonna happen. I know women who’ve had an abortion, and they hated themselves later on. I was thinking about adopting out my baby. That way, a couple who couldn’t have a baby on their own would be happy. Plus, I’d be able to continue my college education.

I looked up adoption online and made some calls to adoption agencies. It was a tough time in my life. Not only was I in this situation, but I also got bad morning sickness. My first call to Lifetime Adoption was one of the hardest calls I’ve ever had to make. But, the Adoption Coordinator I talked to was so helpful. She and I spoke for a long time about my hopes for my baby. I told her that I needed my baby to be adopted by someone African American like me, and that was strong and respected. I wasn’t ready to be a mom yet, but I knew what a good mom and parent should be.

I picked my top two adoptive families. It was between a really great couple and a single African American woman that really hoped to be a mom. I ended up choosing the single woman. Deep down I knew that a single mother adoption was the right decision for my child. I grew up without my dad around, and I don’t trust men. I learned from my mom that a woman can be successful and have a family without a man around.

The adoptive mom I chose, Aisha, was college educated and had been working all of her adult life. She wasn’t able to have a child biologically. I knew she was strong when she told me about how she fought her way to success. She told me that she wanted to teach that strength to the child that she’d adopt. Aisha was the type of woman I wanted to be in 5 or 10 years! She’s a role model to me and I just knew that she’d be the perfect mom for my child!”

Heather Featherston

Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston

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