Are you struggling with your adoption wait to be chosen by a birth mother? What can help give you perspective is hearing from other couples who’ve been where you are right now. Adoptive couple Kevin and Alyssa share their true-life open adoption story, along with their daughter’s birth mother, Bailey.
Read on to find out why a birth mother’s right to choose her baby’s parents is so crucial in adoption today!
Birth mother Bailey’s testimony in the video is a very powerful, and such a great reminder of why it’s important for birth mothers to have a say in their adoption plan.
One of the biggest questions that people who are hoping to adopt ask are about the early moments of a match. Here are some of the most-asked questions: “How do I introduce myself to the birth mom?”, “What is it like to have that conversation (or meet in person)?”, and “While the birth mom is pregnant, is it awkward to continue a relationship or does it become more familiar?”
As the birth mother and adoptive parents share in the video below, the match was awkward at first, but just became more comfortable as they continued to talk.
What the birth mother loved about it the open adoption process was that it was so personable: she has a one-on-one connection with the adoptive parents she chose. In the video, she talks about how important it was to her to have that say and to get the choice in her adoption plan. It really made a difference for her so that once it came to giving birth, she didn’t feel like ‘I’m giving my baby away.’ She felt like the adoptive couple were already extended family to her, so it was just this baby within a bigger family! (Pictured here is adoptive mom Alyssa, her daughter, and her daughter’s birth mother Bailey).
As adoptive mom Alyssa and her husband Kevin share in the video, the adoption wait is hard. “We were pretty discouraged…it’s very hard. The adoption wait was a hard time in our lives, just wanting so bad to parents to another child. We were actually coming up on our second year [with our adoption agency], and at that point, we decided we would not renew our adoption contract. So basically we decided that if we weren’t picked, then we would be done. We were just waiting to see what God had for us.”
This powerful story serves as a great reminder of why a birth mother’s right to choose the family for her baby and to have a say in her adoption plan is so important. At Lifetime, we remain focused on making sure a birth mother is fully informed about adoption as she makes her decision. By being educated on her options, she ends up being more certain of her decision. This results in fewer reclaims and fall throughs. In fact, Lifetime holds one of the lowest reclaim rates nationwide!
Please let us know what you thought about this true-life open adoption story by leaving a comment below!
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.