Today’s blog post comes to us from Tami Majtan, a three-time adoptive mom who has created a YouTube channel all about adoption, race, and family. She also facilitates discussions worldwide about adoption, race, and family in her Facebook group and on Instagram. Tami has a passion for talking about all things adoption, race, infertility, and to encourage and help mend the raw parts.
Tami and her husband Dustin adopted two of their three children with the help of Lifetime Adoption. We’re delighted to be able to share Tami’s story of how adoption has graced her life. We hope that her beautiful and well-put words encourage you today as you move through your own adoption journey!
It all began two months after we vowed to love each other till death due us part. A huge curveball hit our perfect little family of two: Dustin was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Our life, our future, all became uncertain in a moment in time. It all was happening so fast. Immediately surgery was on our calendar, with radiation taking up the following six weeks. We were young and, for the first time, had BIG decisions to make. Should we quickly try to get pregnant before Dustin has surgery and radiation? Should we go to the sperm bank and make a deposit to cash in on when this craziness settles down?
God knew our path, and He steadied our hearts before Him. This was no surprise to God. He was going to use if for His glory and our good…we just didn’t know how or when.
Dustin’s surgery and radiation were a success, and he was cancer-free – Praise God! We resumed our days as newlyweds, now somehow older and wiser. Those days turned to months, and the months turned to years. My lifelong eagerness to start a family never waned, but God’s timing was perfect.
Throughout our entire marriage, I have always prayed that when God is ready to move our life a certain way, that He would move through my husband. Instead of always asking Dustin, “are you ready to have kids?” (like a kid bouncing up and down waiting for an answer) I waited. Yes, we’d talk about it, but as for God’s timing, I waited for the green light from my man.
That green light came around our four-year anniversary, but little did we know, that green light would actually be a red light from God (but just wait – it gets better!) Over the next few years we pursued IVF, with each time getting the devastating news that we were not pregnant. Finally, on what ended up being our fifth and final attempt – a positive pregnancy test lit up our world – but that joy was short-lived as this precious life only lasted a few weeks. Utter brokenness. What in the world was God doing? Why wasn’t He giving me my dream? I begged and pleaded for what I wanted…never once asking God what HE wanted for us.
After our hearts mourned the loss of this dream and this little soul, God gave us new hope! Hope that our family WOULD grow. Hope that we WOULD be parents one day. Hope that families aren’t always grown by one’s flesh and blood but by love. And, again, in a moment’s time, our world had changed.
Enter scene: Lifetime Adoption Center
A friend, who had only heard about Lifetime, referred us to them. We immediately filled out our application and, with fingers/toes/eyes crossed, we waited to hear if we were accepted. I will NEVER forget it – standing in Macy’s with my mom, buying makeup for my sister’s wedding the next day, I got the call! We were now a Lifetime family, and our dreams of becoming parents were actually going to happen! The joy, the tears, the hope, the exhilaration. I think I told everyone I saw that we were adopting! That I was going to be a Mom!
Nine months later (funny, huh?), our first son was born and in our arms. Lifetime had beautifully matched us with his birth mom just a few months before he made his world debut, and we were blessed to be at the hospital for his birth!
This adoption was textbook perfect – God knew I needed that. I needed the ease so I could still heal from not experiencing pregnancy. I needed to feel “normal.” I needed the baby shower. I needed the meals to be brought to us once we were home as a family of three. I wanted to be treated just like every other mother was treated. It was healing and beautiful, and we couldn’t wait to grow our family again!
Enter scene: Lifetime Adoption Center
We were ready to start the process again! Long story, short – two long years of fundraising, and we were ready to be shown to potential birth moms. Hooray! This was going to go as smoothly as adoption #1! Ha, right!
As we waited to be matched, we were asked by an extended family member, the day before the baby was due, if we would please adopt their baby. Excitement and joy quickly turned to sorrow as they changed their minds a couple of days after the baby was born. Heartache, depression, sorrow. Again, why would God allow this?
Another year went by, and on my birthday of all days, God’s tender mercies reminded us that His timing was perfect and beautiful. A birth mom had chosen us to be her son’s parents! For the second time, we were able to be at the hospital when our son was born – God’s grace.
Our son’s adoption was to be finalized just 30 days later (wowsa!), and we were thrilled! But wait for it. The birth father came out of nowhere and wanted to fight to keep this amazing little boy. For a third time, our world was shaken. Six months later, a judge deemed the birth father extremely unfit, and our son was legally ours, forever! Huge sigh of beautiful relief.
We knew we wanted a large family, but that meant going through the beautiful (and hard, at times) ups and downs of the adoption process. God had called us to this, changed our lives and hearts, and gave us a passion for it. THIS was why He said “No” to pregnancy, no to the failed adoption…so we could give Him the glory and with open arms be able to say, “Your Will, not ours.” BUT we were too tired to pursue adoption all over again.
I prayed that if God wanted us to have more children, that He would bring them to us! And that He did. Less than two years after our second son was born, family acquaintances contacted us about adopting their baby girl who was due to be born in just three weeks. We tiptoed carefully and wisely through this one, trusting completely in God’s will. I was at the hospital when she was born (third time!). And one full year later, her adoption was finalized!
Through cancer, failed IVF, miscarriage, three extremely beautiful adoptions, and one failed adoption, God has taught us so much and grown our hearts tremendously! Our relationships with our birth families are sacred and God-given. We do not take them for granted, and we love them deeply. We have a passion for talking about all things adoption, race, infertility, and to encourage and help mend the raw parts.
For God’s glory, if we could go back and experience pregnancy instead of going down our adoption paths, would we? A big ‘ol fat NO! We can’t imagine our life without our three children, without learning what we have, without growing deeper in our walks with God, without giving hope to other families who are walking down similar paths. Our journey is beautiful and perfect just the way it is – rocky roads and all. And just next month, Dustin and I will be celebrating 21 amazing years being married – happy and healthy. Do we want more kids? Well, let’s just say we’ll never turn down a child, but we’re getting too old to start from scratch again. But if we did, Lifetime Adoption Center would be the first ones we call!
Are you curious about adoption but don’t know where to start? Watch as Tami breaks it all down for you in easy to digest steps, and shares about her adoption experience with Lifetime: