There are so many different reasons for choosing to place a child for adoption. Some women choose adoption so they can give their child a life they couldn’t provide otherwise. Others can’t afford to raise another child.
Usually, we don’t hear the birth mom’s side of the story. So when Hannah Mongie recorded a video for her newborn son and posted it on YouTube, it left the internet in tears. In the now-viral video, she explained to her baby why she decided to place him for adoption. She also shares why she placed her son with a certain adoptive family.
Hannah was 18 when she discovered she was pregnant. After the death of her boyfriend, she decided to make an adoption plan for their baby boy, Taggart Kaden Marsh. Just a few hours before the adoption became official, Hannah recorded a video telling her son she would always love him.
In her emotional video, which People Magazine and The Today Show both featured on their sites, Hannah says, “I thought I would make this video for you instead of writing a letter because it’s real and it’s in the moment.” She told her infant son how she dated his dad for a while before she found out she was pregnant. “He loved you so much from the very very beginning,” Hannah told her son.
Throughout the video, she made sure to let her son know how much she loves him. She shared that her decision was based on what would be the best environment for him to grow up in.
Here’s Hannah’s video:
Why I chose adoption
Hannah taped the video so that her son would be able to look back and know that she chose adoption out of love for him. “He will never have to think that I ‘gave him up’ or that I did not love him. He will always be able to know that I loved him more than anyone else in this world,” says Hannah.
“This is for you, Tagg. I made this video so that you know how much I love you. I made this decision completely out of love, and if I didn’t love you I wouldn’t of been in this position at all, and you wouldn’t have this awesome family. I fell in love with them, and they were beyond anything I could have asked for, and I have really really high standards for anyone who is going to raise my child.”
Hannah wrote her adoption hospital plan so that the adoptive couple could be there for some of the labor, and she chose to be alone with her son while she healed from delivery.
She also requested that the nurses leave her alone with her baby for 45 minutes so she could make the video. “I just allowed myself to break down,” Hannah says. “I was just determined that my son was going to see this someday.”
We know that adoption can be an emotional journey, and we’re here to support you every step of the way. Lifetime will continue to be there for you even after you place your baby for adoption, offering guidance and care whenever you need it. If you’d like additional support, we can connect you with licensed counseling to help you through this time.
Hannah’s open adoption
Today, Hannah has an open adoption relationship with her son and with Brad and Emily, the adoptive parents she chose. “His adoptive mom, Emily, is honestly everything I want to be as a person and a mother. I am so grateful that [my son] led me to her and their family. They are a blessing…” Hannah shares in her video. She loves to post photos and videos of her with her son on her Instagram profile.
Her son’s adoptive parents said it was very important for all three of their sons to have open adoptions. By having their son’ birth mothers involved in their lives, these boys won’t ever have to wonder who their birth mothers are. More importantly, they won’t be left wondering if their birth parents love them.
Some birth parents worry that their children will end up hating them for choosing adoption someday. Many children grow up with questions about their heritage, wondering, “Where did I come from?” and “Why did my parents choose adoption?”
While these questions may remain, the openness of modern adoption allows for more transparency. Today, children can often understand their parents’ reasons for choosing adoption, reducing the mystery of an unknown parent they’ve never met or heard of.
Sharing from the heart
By writing your child a letter or taping a video for them as Hannah did, you can tell them about your true love for them. Your child’s adoptive parents will know when you give the letter to your child (or show them the video). Lifetime educates them to begin talking about adoption with your child from the beginning.
Talking about adoption early helps make it a natural part of your child’s life. So, when they start asking questions about who they are, adoption will already be a normal and comfortable topic. This will help them feel connected and understand more about themselves.
Writing down or saying what’s in your heart can be challenging, but please don’t let your words and feelings go unheard. Your child will treasure your feelings, thoughts, stories, and pictures!
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on January 15, 2018, and has since been updated.
Heidi Keefer is a Content Creator for Lifetime Adoption and has over 15 years of experience in the field of adoption. An author of thousands of articles and social media posts over the years, Heidi enjoys finding new ways to educate and captivate Lifetime’s ever-growing list of subscribers.
Heidi has a keen eye for misplaced apostrophes, comma splices, and well-turned sentences, which she has put to good use as a contributor to Lifetime’s award-winning blogs. She has written and published hundreds of adoption articles which explore the various facets of domestic infant adoption today.
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