Dear Mardie,
Hi, my name is Kristin and I am a mother of an 11 month old and recently found out I am pregnant again. We had been using protection so this is a very unexpected pregnancy. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years and he is not very excited about having another baby. I am getting so worried that I will not be able to handle another baby at this time in my life. We are so overwhelmed right now. There is never enough time or money to go around. My boyfriend doesn’t help out that much; he says that since he works all day he shouldn’t have to work when he gets home. I am already overwhelmed and cannot even imagine what will happen when the new baby comes. Please help.
Dear Kristin,
It is normal to feel overwhelmed and anxious when an unexpected pregnancy occurs. Just know that you are not alone and that many women before you have gone through the same thing. It is not unusual for woman to have children close together. And it is definitely not unusually to feel anxiety about your ability to handle the situation.
Right now it is probably best to try and relax and get your bearings on the situation. You need to look at your life and ways that you can make things more comfortable for you and your family. Listing the areas you are concerned about may be helpful. Also looking at how each of those areas can be worked on. Try to sit your boyfriend down and discuss your concerns. The two of you can brainstorm ways of making your situation work for your family. Do your best to keep him involved in the pregnancy and your feelings and concerns. He cannot be there for you if you don’t tell him what it is you need from him.
If you are feeling the stresses of money you can look to specific counseling organizations that can help you balance your financial life before your new baby comes. For stress related to not having enough time you can try to allocate your resources differently. Possibly using a day timer will help you organize your time better.
Keep your options open and be willing to look at all the possibilities for making your life what you want it to be. If you know you want to keep this baby you can definitely make it work, you will just have to put in the effort to find the best way to make it work for your family
If you have ever thought about adoption, you can talk to a caring coordinator at Lifetime Adoption. They will talk to about your concerns and help you work through the possibilities. You have many options to consider. They will not pressure you into making any decisions.
Just remember that many woman have been in your situation and got through it just fine and so can you.
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