“Adoption…I Did What Was Best for My Daughter”

“When I got a positive pregnancy test, my boyfriend and I were in college, and we weren’t working. I knew then that he wasn’t the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And, I grew up with divorced parents, so I didn’t want my child growing up the same way. Once the shock of being pregnant started to wear off, I started looking into adoption.

When I called Lifetime, the lady I talked to answered all of my questions which made me feel less stressed and more confident about adoption. Once I decided to go further with adoption (about two weeks later), I called back, and the Adoption Coordinator I worked with asked me questions. At the time, I felt like she was asking too many personal questions that were none of her business. But, looking back now, I realize that she was just trying to learn as much as she could about my situation so that she could help me make an adoption plan that fit me.

I felt really supported by Lifetime as I went thru the adoption process. They offered to connect me with a licensed therapist. My mom (who was totally against the adoption happening) told me that of course, the adoption agency would give me “counseling” that would push me more towards adopting out my baby. But the fact is, the therapist didn’t work for Lifetime. So, it didn’t matter to her whether I went with adoption or not.

My Adoption Coordinator also gave me the phone number of a woman she called a “birth mother.” This woman had been through the whole process I was going through, and she placed her son for adoption a few years back. Talking to her both while I was pregnant and after the placement helped so much! I feel like until you go through something yourself, it’s hard to give someone advice. This woman had been “in my shoes” so she could tell me what to expect, emotions-wise.

I did think about changing my mind a few times. What helped was remembering the original reasons why I looked into adoption in the first place. After I’d gave birth, I knew I could still change my mind. But I’m glad I didn’t take my daughter back because I did what was best for her.

Once I got home from the hospital, I felt relieved, like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I went back to my classes around a month after my daughter was born. Then, a couple of weeks after that, I landed a work-study job and joined a support group for birth mothers.”

If you liked this woman’s adoption story, you may like hearing
open adoption stories from other birth mothers.

Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston