If you’re thinking about whether adoption or parenting will be the right answer for you and your baby, you might be wondering about your guy. Is he ready to be a dad?
He may say he wants kids someday. But once you have a baby, will he leave you doing all of the work? Feeding, changing diapers, comforting, making bottles, going to pediatrician appointments, bathing, etc…
Nowadays it’s like fatherhood’s in style: the media is full of pics of male celebrities proudly holding a baby or pushing a stroller. But that doesn’t mean all men are ready to be dads.
Ask yourself: is he committed to your relationship? For example, if you ask him to go to your family reunion and he already had plans to watch a football game with the guys, will he give the guys a raincheck? While there’s nothing wrong having guy’s night, it’s a red flag if he puts them above you. That’s a sign he may not be ready for the duty of being a dad – or even be that committed to your relationship.
Having a baby is a full-time job, 24/7 that completely changes your lifestyle. And, you’ll probably always be tired. All this puts pressure on the most solid relationships, so if yours is shaky already, it’s bad news.
If your guy says he’s ready to step up to the plate and become a parent, you can share these 10 tips for new dads and soon-to-be daddies:
- Accept the responsibility of being a dad
- Hold your baby and play with him or her
- Don’t look at anything as “mom” duties — share responsibilities. So when your baby cries, answer to his needs (is he hungry? Maybe tired?)
- Make time in your day for your baby, and cherish that time
- Don’t be an absent dad.
- Get some sleep (when your baby naps, nap as well!)
- A paycheck doesn’t equal love
- Know that parenthood isn’t always easy
- Always treat their mother with respect
- Show them good behavior
Before you start a new life with your man as parents, make sure you both know a bit of what you’re in for. Make sure to ask the tough adoption questions as a birth father and birth mother. Hang out with other people who already have a baby (or kid) as often as possible. And, do some thinking about your relationship and life right now…how would a baby would fit in?
If you’re ready to start learning about the option of adoption, you can request your free Adoption Planning Kit from us.
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is nationally recognized as an expert on open adoption. A Certiﬁed Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P.), Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, established in 1986. She has assisted in over 2,000 successful adoptions and was one of the ﬁrst adoption professionals on the Internet.
Caldwell’s life work is dedicated to educating and helping birth parents find the right adoptive parents for their child. She spreads the word about modern adoption through speaking appearances, webinars, online resources, and as a podcast show host.
She has written several award-winning books, including So I Was Thinking About Adoption, the first book of its kind. There are many reasons women choose adoption, and this short book is a comprehensive resource to make the best plan for you and your baby. Caldwell wrote So I Was Thinking About Adoption as a handy guide to the details of the adoption process.
Caldwell has made over 150 media appearances, including ABC News, CBS News, Larry King Live, CNN Headline News, NBC’s The Today Show, CNN’s The Campbell Brown Show, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN’s Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, and Dr. Laura.