This guest post is by Kristina, a birth mother.
“I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant. When my gyno confirmed my pregnancy, I was in shock. That day changed my life forever. I remember thinking, am I ready to be a mom? Am I ready to raise this sweet little being? As I asked myself those two questions and took a hard look at my situation, my gut instinct was that I wasn’t ready.
My boyfriend was abusive and drank too much. It just got worse once I was pregnant. The game changer was when he threw me into a wall and started choking me at 14 weeks along. I knew at that moment that I needed to leave him and place my baby up for adoption. Since I didn’t have a job, I couldn’t afford to raise a child and give them the life I wanted to.
I wanted my baby to grow up with two loving parents in a stable environment. At that point in my life, I knew I couldn’t provide my baby with either. I found my son’s adoptive parents, Matt and Jennifer, after looking at online profiles of hopeful couples for awhile. I was instantly drawn to them.
When I read their profile, something just “clicked.” I could tell that Matt would be a great dad just by looking at him and that he was exactly what I wanted my baby to have.
I’ve heard that when you see the parents you want for your baby, you’ll just know it right away, and that’s how it was for me. I sent Matt and Jennifer an email, and we set a time to talk for the first time. As soon as we started talking, I knew for sure that they were meant to be the parents of my baby.
A few days after I gave birth to my son, I signed my rights over to Matt and Jennifer. When I got home, I cried a lot because it hit me that I wouldn’t have my son with me any longer. It was a hard time, but my Coordinator at Lifetime was such a great support.
One of my biggest fears going into adoption was that the adoptive couple would slowly close me out of their lives. I was worried that my son would grow up hating me, and thinking that I didn’t want him. But Matt and Jennifer have been there every step of the way. I feel blessed to have found them. Knowing that they’re giving my son the very best in life has shown me that I made the right choice. I couldn’t provide him with all that he needed, but they can, and have been ready and willing to.
We talk about every other month, and Jennifer sends me pictures and videos. We see each other each year, which is awesome. I’m so happy with my open adoption.
If you’re pregnant and thinking about adoption, my advice is to study it as much as you can. Open adoption is a great thing not only for you but your baby too. Honestly if you sense that adoption is right for you, go for it. Pray about it. It’s such a loving thing to do and God will bless you for it.”
Kristina is a 22-year-old birth mother who’s currently going to college for nursing, with help from a Lifetime Adoption Foundation scholarship. The Lifetime Adoption Foundation awards scholarships to birth mothers who have lovingly chosen adoption. Find out more at www.LifetimeFoundation.org.
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.