(This post was originally published on our blog on October 17, 2017)
Choosing adoption for your child isn’t easy. What makes it harder are all the harsh adoption myths shown in the media. It can get easy to forget what the adoption is about: creating a family.
If you’re thinking about adoption, we want to share the truth on the top 5 adoption myths about choosing adoption for your child:
Myth #1: Birth mothers end up regretting their decision.
In the adoption process, you, the birth mother, have rights and power. You have the right to choose the adoptive couple for your baby, to stay in contact with your child as they grow up. We’ve heard from many birth mothers that having a say in their adoption plan makes them feel more confident about their decision to place.
Myth #2: It’s selfish to adopt out your child
Choosing adoption for your baby or child is the least selfish decision that you can make. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love your child. It literally means the exact opposite: you love them enough to give them the upbringing you know they deserve. If you don’t have the resources or aren’t ready to be a parent, choosing adoption is the most loving thing you can do.
Myth #3: Birth mothers are in their teens.
A common belief is that most birth moms choosing to place a baby in the adoption process are still in high school. The truth is, most women choosing adoption are in their 20s or 30s. They might have a child already, and realize they can’t afford another so they choose adoption.
Myth #4: Adopted children grow up feeling rejected
This is a widespread adoption myth. The truth is, your child will grow knowing about their adoption story. They’ll know that you did adoption out of love, and because of the hope for their bright future. Check out this quick video with Alexa, a woman who was adopted 18 years ago. She shared with us that she’s actually grateful to her birth mother for choosing adoption.
Myth # 5: I won’t know who’s raising my child
In today’s modern adoptions, you’ll be talking to, meeting with, and hand-picking the adoptive family for your baby. You can pick a couple who’d raise your child in the way that you wish. Plus, it’s up to you how much contact you want to have with your child and their adoptive parents in the future. You have the right to be in contact with your child and family as much as you’d like, including emails, letters, photos, social media updates, and even visits.
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.