Abortion vs. Adoption? How to Choose What’s Right For You

by | Aug 9, 2019 | Birth Parent Blog

abortion-adoption

Adoption vs. abortion is a hard decision under any circumstances. “Abortion is quick and easy. A clean break. No one will even have to know I was pregnant.”

Many believe that abortion is a quick fix for a pregnancy they didn’t plan on. In reality, things are much more complicated. This “quick fix” can be followed by lifelong regret and grief.

Desperate for a “quick fix,” women sometimes rush into an abortion decision before they’ve had the chance to explore all of their pregnancy options fully.

We encourage you to explore all of your pregnancy options, so you can make a fully informed decision about what’s best for you. Before making this decision, it’s important to consider some of the challenges of this option:

Abortion or Adoption?

For every 149 women who choose to have an abortion, only 1 woman chooses adoption. These numbers show that women today might not know the alternatives to abortion. It shows that education is needed about pregnancy choices other than abortion.

It’s common to think that abortion is a “quick fix” to a huge problem. Many believe abortion is more confidential, cheaper, and better for their long-term mental health. But in reality, that’s not necessarily the case. Adoption is confidential, free, and can be the right answer to an unplanned pregnancy.

If you’re going back and forth between abortion vs. adoption, here’s a comparison:

Confidentiality

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Many decide to get an abortion because it’s confidential, and no one has to know. But what they might not realize is an adoption can also happen confidentially. A pregnant woman can keep her adoption plans under wraps from her family, friends, and community.

Any information you share with Lifetime is kept strictly confidential. Your Adoption Coordinator can help you keep as much privacy as you’d like during your pregnancy and the adoption process. If you feel the need, keeping your pregnancy and adoption private is possible.

Cost

The cost to get an abortion ranges from hundreds to thousands of dollars, depending on your insurance and how far along you are. Your health insurance might cover part of the cost of an abortion, but there are legal limits on insurance coverage, and the availability of this option may vary on a case-by-case basis.

Not only is adoption completely free, but you might also be able to get help with living expenses from the adoptive family you choose. This financial help means that you could get pregnancy-related expenses taken care of, like rent, food, utilities, transportation, and maternity clothing. All adoption services are completely free, and you may also be eligible to receive living expenses to help you during your pregnancy.

Long-Term Mental Health 

Abortion and adoption are both difficult decisions to make. But with adoption, a woman is reassured of her decision for years to come by having a continued relationship with her child.

With open adoption, as one of the alternatives to abortion, she’s able to be a part of all the amazing things her child does growing up. She sees the smile on her child’s face through picture updates, or even in person. Adoption allows her to be reminded of the incredible gift she gave to an adoptive couple by choosing adoption for her baby.

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But women who get an abortion don’t have the same opportunities, which may make it harder to come to terms with their decision. With adoption, you’re making a decision you can be proud of rather than life with abortion grief, which is often private because it’s not shared with friends or family.

Many women have doubted or questioned their choice to get an abortion long after the procedure. It’s important to be aware of the possible psychological effects of abortion. 

While neither abortion nor adoption are easy choices to make, abortion isn’t always the “quick fix” women believe they are signing up for.

Ashley* chose to make an adoption plan for her baby after getting an abortion for a previous pregnancy. She says, “I didn’t know that it could be this way. I wish I could undo the decision I made in the past and place that baby for adoption too. I feel so proud of myself for continuing the pregnancy and giving my child a life that I want to shout it from the roof! I never felt that way before, especially after my abortion. God bless you, and I will tell everyone I meet about my experiences with adoption and abortion.” 

* name changed for privacy reasons

The Facts on Adoption

Some women believe that abortion will be the easiest and quickest answer to their unexpected pregnancy. The main reason they never consider adoption is because they don’t know the facts about this pregnancy choice.

Today’s modern adoptions work much differently from those in the past and those depicted in the media. If you make an adoption plan, you’re in control of the adoption process. You can select the adoptive family who you feel will best raise your child. You will also get to choose the kind of post-adoption contact you want to maintain with the family and your child.

By choosing adoption after considering abortion, you’re not “giving up” on your child. You’re giving your baby the gift of an amazing childhood with loving and stable adoptive parents. You’re also giving yourself a better chance of moving on from this difficult time in your life.

You’re the only person who knows what’s best in your situation. Adoption is definitely not for everyone, but neither is abortion. Choosing adoption over abortion can come with many benefits for you and provide your child the opportunity for a happy and healthy life.

Are you for alternatives to abortion? You can call us confidentially for adoption info at 1-800-923-6784. Or, you can send a confidential email here.

There’s no obligation for free adoption information.

Heather Featherston

Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston

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