I Don’t Know Who My Baby’s Father Is – Can I Still Choose Adoption?

by | Jul 15, 2021 | Birth Parent Blog

Young woman crying after realizing, 'I don't know who my baby's father is'“I’m 19 and just found out I’m pregnant. I’m terrified of becoming a mom. I don’t want a kid yet. I would be a terrible mom right now. If I can barely take care of myself, how am I going to take care of a child? So, I’ve been thinking about adoption. And… I’m ashamed to admit this, but I don’t know who my baby’s father is. Can I still adopt out my baby?”
We understand that this is a difficult question to ask. Lifetime Adoption has helped many women who didn’t know who or where the birth father is, by no fault of their own. If this is your situation, know that you’re not alone. And we’re not here to judge you.
If you’re not sure who the dad of your baby is, it’s natural to worry about it all the time. But try not to let your concerns make you too stressed out. What’s done can’t be undone, and getting stressed is not good for you or your baby. Now is the time to really focus on your baby and yourself and be practical.

Jade’s Story

Jade was in a similar situation – she was a Nebraska college student who found herself pregnant in her last semester. She had gone to Miami for Spring Break, and there were a number of men she had met there who could have fathered her child. She was on birth control, so she was shocked to find herself pregnant and not knowing who the dad was.
She had heard that all adoptions have to have the father’s consent, but she called a coordinator at Lifetime to find out for sure. Jade was relieved to learn that she didn’t need to chase down all the potential fathers to choose adoption. Her coordinator explained that each state has procedures set up for terminating the parental rights of an unknown birth father. There was no cost to her for doing this, and she could make an adoption plan, even though she had no idea who the father was or how to reach him.

Lifetime Adoption Can Help You

There are many birth father scenarios similar to Jade’s, and the adoption professionals at Lifetime are ready to help women navigate any of them, including:

  • Birth fathers who are in the country illegally.
  • Birth fathers who cannot be located.
  • Cases of incest.
  • Birth fathers who are married to another woman.
  • Birth fathers who are in prison or have warrants for their arrest.
  • Rape and sexual assault.
  • And many more.

You see, each adoption is unique in so many ways, including the birth parents’ relationship and how the child came to be conceived. So if you also can say that “I don’t know who my baby’s father is,” know that adoption is always an option. It may just look different in the legal process depending on the situation.

How Does the Adoption Process Work?

Your Lifetime coordinator will help you create a custom adoption plan for your baby. In fact, you can choose the parents that you want to raise your baby and the type of contact you wish to have with the family and your baby after the adoption is finalized.
You can also decide how you want things to go while you’re at the hospital. The first step is talking with a caring adoption coordinator at Lifetime Adoption. She will answer your questions and make sure you understand all your choices.
The next step is to choose a waiting adoptive family who is ready to adopt a baby. We work with families that are from all walks of life. That means we have families of all races, hobbies, and professions.
You can read and see videos of adoptive couples and decide who you want to get to know. We will help guide you through that process so you can be sure you are comfortable with your decision.
Once you are matched with an adoptive family, your coordinator will help you create an adoption plan with your decisions about the hospital. This will include your hospital plan (where you’ll be, who you want in the room, etc.). We will also go over health history information, pregnancy expense information, and talk about any other future plans or goals that you want to discuss.
You can also use this time to continue to get to know your baby’s adoptive parents. Once your baby is born, you will sign the legal papers for adoption. Most of the time, the baby will leave the hospital with the adoptive family you have chosen.
There is never a cost to you, and if you need help with your pregnancy-related expenses, just let your coordinator know.

If you’re ready to start making an adoption plan for your baby, call or text one of Lifetime’s caring adoption coordinators at
There is no obligation, and someone will walk with you every step of the way, answering your questions and helping you in the best way possible.

Heather Featherston

Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston

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