Question: “I have a three-and-a-half year old daughter and am expecting another. I’ve really been struggling to pay bills and make ends meet. As hard as it is to admit, I’m thinking it might be best to adopt out my baby.
My friend told me that it’s possible to get my baby back if I put her in foster care, so I’m curious about that. What’s the difference between foster care and adoption? Why should I choose adoption?”
Answer: Each pregnant woman thinking about adoption wants the very best for her baby. Many choose adoption because they want their baby to have the best life possible, and to be raised by two loving parents. When you work with an adoption professional like Lifetime, your baby will be placed directly into the healthy, happy family that you select.
The adoptive couple is 100% ready for parenthood, have been thoroughly screened, and will embrace you as the birth mother of their child. They will keep you a part of your child’s life and speak of you with love. So, know that when you make an adoption plan for your baby, she won’t go into foster care, but into a loving family you’ve selected.
What’s the Difference Between Foster Care and Adoption?
In most cases, a foster care placement of a child is not an intentional decision; it happens because of involvement with Child Welfare Services or the Department of Children and Family Services. Getting a child out of foster care can be challenging, because it requires following a court-ordered reunification plan, which includes passing drug tests, getting stable housing, and completing parenting classes. The process can take months or years.
On the other hand, choosing adoption is always entirely up to you. When you choose adoption through Lifetime, your baby will be placed directly with a family who has been waiting for and praying for a child.
With adoption, you have the right to choose:
- Your baby’s adoptive parents
- The adoption professional who helps you
- How much contact you’d like to have with the adoptive couple before, during and after the adoption
- How you want your hospital stay and delivery to go
- And more!
When you contact Lifetime to make a voluntary adoption plan, we’ll work with you to choose from a wide variety of adoptive parents and select the ones you feel are perfect for your baby. This means that your baby is never waiting to be adopted, and never goes into state custody. Once your baby is born, you can place him or her right into their adoptive parents’ arms.
You have probably heard of children in foster care who wait for years and years to be adopted. And, you’ve probably heard that many children get shuffled from foster home to foster home without getting adopted before they turn 18.
Fortunately, making an adoption plan with Lifetime isn’t like that. When you work with Lifetime, your baby will have permanent adoptive parents waiting for them. Your baby won’t be placed into foster care; they’ll go into their “forever family.”
Frequently Asked Questions About Adoption vs. Foster Care
What’s the difference between foster care and adoption?
What’s the difference between foster care and adoption?The biggest difference is who decides the child’s future. With adoption, you can choose the adoptive parents and create a plan for your baby’s life. Many women also choose open adoption, which allows them to stay in contact through photos, updates, calls, or visits.
Foster care differs because children are placed in homes by the state when families are facing difficult situations. Adoption, on the other hand, allows you to make a permanent, loving plan for your child with a family you choose.
Is foster care the same as adoption?
No. Foster care and adoption are very different. Foster care provides temporary care for children while families work through challenges.
Adoption is a permanent plan you can choose for your baby. With adoption, you can select the adoptive parents and create the kind of future you want for your child, often with the option to stay connected through open adoption.
Can a foster child be adopted?
Sometimes, yes. If a court determines that a child cannot safely return to their birth family, parental rights may be terminated, and the child may become eligible for adoption. In many cases, foster parents have the opportunity to adopt the child in their care.
Why do some women choose adoption?
Women considering adoption often choose it because it allows them to select the adoptive family and make a plan for their baby’s future. Adoption can also allow for ongoing contact through open adoption, where birth parents may receive updates, photos, or visits.
Do women have contact with their child after adoption?
In many modern adoptions, yes. Open adoption allows birth parents and adoptive families to stay connected through letters, photos, phone calls, or visits. Each adoption plan is unique and is based on what both families agree is best for the child.
Who makes decisions in foster care vs. adoption?
In foster care, the state and child welfare system make many decisions about the child’s care. In adoption, you can choose your baby’s parents and make a plan for your baby’s future. Then, the adoptive parents you’ve chosen become the child’s legal parents and make decisions about their upbringing, education, healthcare, and daily life.
Can I choose my baby’s parents?
Yes. If you choose adoption, you can have a say in who adopts your baby. Many women look through profiles of hopeful adoptive parents and choose the one that feels right to them. You may also have the chance to talk with the adoptive parents, ask questions, and build a relationship before the baby is born if you’d like.
Lifetime Adoption
When it comes to adoption through Lifetime, know that we won’t force you into placing your baby. It’s entirely your decision. No one has the power to make an adoption plan for your baby but you.
You, the birth parent, are the one who calls the shots in the adoption plan. You can choose your baby’s adoptive parents, how much you want to communicate with them, and how involved you’d like them to be for the birth of your baby. You can choose to have an open adoption with the adoptive couple and keep in touch.
It’s never too late to choose adoption and avoid your child being placed into foster care. If you’re curious about adoption but haven’t picked an adoptive family, our Adoption Coordinators can help you find the perfect adoptive parents. When you work with Lifetime, your child will never be placed in foster care. You’ll go through the regular adoption process, remaining in charge along every step.
If you’ve delivered your baby at the hospital and feel worried about your baby being put into the foster care system, call or text us at 1-800-923-6784 for the help you need. By choosing adoption, you have the power to make important decisions for your child, rather than the State making those decisions for you.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on March 15, 2019, and has since been updated.
Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P., is nationally recognized as an expert on open adoption. A Certified Open Adoption Practitioner (C.O.A.P.), Caldwell is the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center, established in 1986. She has assisted in over 2,000 successful adoptions and was one of the first adoption professionals on the Internet.
Caldwell's life work is dedicated to educating and helping birth parents find the right adoptive parents for their child. She spreads the word about modern adoption through speaking appearances, webinars, online resources, and as a podcast show host.
She has written several award-winning books, including So I Was Thinking About Adoption, the first book of its kind. There are many reasons women choose adoption, and this short book is a comprehensive resource to make the best plan for you and your baby. Caldwell wrote So I Was Thinking About Adoption as a handy guide to the details of the adoption process.
Caldwell has made over 150 media appearances, including ABC News, CBS News, Larry King Live, CNN Headline News, NBC's The Today Show, CNN's The Campbell Brown Show, NBC News, KGO Newstalk Radio, CNN's Black in America II, MSNBC, Fox, PBS, BBC, and Dr. Laura.
0 Comments