How an Unwanted Pregnancy Might Change Your Life

by | Jan 10, 2020 | Birth Parent Blog

Woman holding a positive pregnancy testHave you ever wondered how having a baby might change your life? It can be pretty crazy how much things really do change when you have a baby. You’ve probably heard that you won’t get much sleep, and that you’ll have no social life.

But things can get extra crazy if your pregnancy wasn’t planned and not everyone in your life was prepared for this huge change. Today we are going over some of the ways that your life will change once you become a mom!

Going to School Will Be Difficult

Having a baby when you aren’t ready makes continuing school very hard. Babies take up a lot of time, and they can’t just be left on their own. So, you’d have to figure out who will care for the baby while you’re in class.

If your parents are available to help you out, then that’s great. But relying on your parents to help you be a parent can put a strain on your relationship with them. Childcare is expensive too, so if you are going to school and trying to pay for daycare and babysitters, expect money to be very tight.

You Might Have to Put Your Career Hold

An unexpected pregnancy can put a real damper on your career. If you’re done with school and are climbing the ladder of success, it can be pretty disappointing to have to stay home and change diapers when you’d rather be working.

Expect that you will be more tired at work, and more stressed out at home. There are only so many hours in the day, and if you don’t have enough support at home from either family members or the baby’s father, then you’ll be taking care of a lot of responsibilities on your own.  

There Will Be No Time for Self-Care

It might seem like babies are just cute, tiny people. But any mom will tell you that they will devour every ounce of energy you have and control your life until they are old enough to go to the bathroom by themselves and pour their own cereal.

It never fails that babies get hungry as soon as you sit down to eat. And any mom will tell you that showers become a thing of the past for the first few months. There just isn’t any time for yourself between feeding, burping, rocking, and changing your baby’s diapers. Right now, you are the only person you have to worry about. If you end up parenting after an unwanted pregnancy, you may be unhappy about your “me time” for self-care being taken away.

You’ll Get Less Sleep

Woman shows her boyfriend a positive pregnancy test

You will lose sleep. Repeat. You will lose sleep. It doesn’t really matter if your pregnancy was planned or not. A mother of a newborn doesn’t get to sleep much regardless of whether her pregnancy was wanted or unwanted. Most babies just don’t sleep for long stretches. It can be really hard for a new mom to adjust to being woken up every couple of hours all night.

Moms do survive though. Just be prepared for this, and expect to feel overwhelmed and maybe a little resentful of being so tired if you didn’t plan on this change.

Money Will Be Tighter

Babies are expensive. Just take a look at your bill from the hospital you delivered at! Newborns require frequent visits to the pediatrician, and big purchases like car seats and cribs. Plus, there are so many little expenses that we don’t think about, such as baby wipes and diaper cream. Oh, and diapers. Don’t forget diapers.

If you have a supportive family who can help you financially, then it may not be as difficult. But you should be prepared for money to be tighter, especially if you have to take time off work for an extended period of time, or if you have to pay for childcare when you go back to work.

Relationships With Loved Ones Will Change

Relationships might change for the better, or be changed in ways you don’t like. It would be great if a pregnancy always brought families closer together, but in the case of unwanted pregnancies, the opposite is often true.

An unplanned pregnancy can put stress on a new relationship with a boyfriend or husband. If he wasn’t ready to be a dad, it can bring up a lot of feelings that are hard to talk about.

Family is another story. While it might not seem like your pregnancy should be any of their business, they might think it is anyway. If parents have strong opinions about your pregnancy they might pressure you to make decisions you wouldn’t normally make.

Friends can be supportive during your pregnancy, but it’s hard to find time to hang out when you’re constantly feeding, changing, and caring for a baby. You’ll probably find that you don’t see much of them after you have the baby, especially if they don’t have kids yet. Becoming a parent changes your life in so many ways, and they may not be able to understand that you don’t have all the time to spend with them that you used to.

It is helpful to look at all these life changing things when you find out about an unwanted pregnancy. If you are worried about how an unwanted pregnancy might affect your life and want to talk to someone about your situation you can connect with Lifetime Adoption by texting or calling 1-800-923-6784 and have a private conversation with a pregnancy coordinator. She can help you answer questions about your options and give you resources for finding more information if you need it.

Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on June 23, 2015, and has since been updated. 

Heather Featherston

Written by Heather Featherston

As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.

Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.

As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.

Read more about Heather Featherston

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