“After I saw that tiny “plus” sign on the pregnancy test, I was so clueless what I’d do. I was panicking. My boyfriend said he’d pay to “get it taken care of”…meaning have an abortion. My sister Ashley said, “If it were me, I’d give my baby up for adoption.” Like she could imagine what I was going through!
I was super scared, and I thought my only choice was to keep my daughter and make it work. My mom told me that she had me when she was just 18, and I turned out just fine. So, I kept thinking that if she could do it, I could too. I really never even considered an abortion.
I did think about adoption, but I felt like I would be giving up if I just gave my baby away. I was always feeling like a failure but thought if I tried hard enough I could be a good mom.
So I had my baby. My boyfriend avoided us at all costs, but I was prepared for that, and I did the best I could. My mom and sister helped me out where they could. But as the days passed, I realized that I was not giving my little girl the best home. I was going to high school all day, then right to work, and finally working on homework until 1 or 2. I felt like I was doing the best I could. Then one night as I was leaving my job at the mall, I saw a sweet young family.
The mom and dad were holding hands with their daughter in between them. She was counting “1, 2, 3” and then the parents were lifting her up in the air as she squealed with delight. Suddenly I realized that there was a family out there who could provide that kind of home for my daughter. A loving home with two parents and no worries about money.
I realized that I didn’t do adoption originally because I didn’t want to explain it to everyone. I wasn’t thinking about what was best for me or for my baby; I was just worried about what others might think. I checked into adoption because I knew that my daughter was the most important thing in the world. She should have the chance at the life I dreamt for her. Someone told me about open adoption and that I could know how she was doing throughout her life.
I picked a really cool couple to adopt her. They post pictures and updates of her on Facebook and Instagram regularly for me to see. Now if someone asks why I chose adoption, I just answer, “Because my daughter is the most important thing in the world to me. And she deserves to have the best parents in the world.” My choice was the right one for me and for her!”
As Vice President of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.