“Everyone in my life is telling me I should put my baby up for adoption…my friends, my parents, and my boyfriend. I’m getting really sick of all the pressure. What should I do to handle this situation?”
The decision of adoption is yours and yours alone. No matter what other people in your life might think, you’re the only person who actually knows what’s best for you and your baby.
There is never a reason that a woman “has” to choose adoption, get an abortion, or parent her baby before she’s ready, regardless of what her friends, family members, or even her baby’s father tells her she should do.
If you feel that you are being pressured to do adoption, here are three tips to follow so you can make a fully-informed decision that’s right for you:
1. Ask for Their Support
You’re about to make a major life decision. Ask people close to you for their emotional support, and not for their opinions. There’s a big difference between someone who respects and supports your decision, and someone who’s trying to persuade you to make a decision you don’t think is right.
If you’re being pressured to choose adoption, tell that person you appreciate their concern for you but this is a decision you have to make yourself. If you’re worried for your safety by going against their wishes, contact a licensed counselor, law enforcement, or attorney right away. They can help you get out of an abusive situation.
2. Know Your Adoption Rights
If you’re considering adoption, know that you’re in control of the adoption process. You can pick your baby’s adoptive parents and choose what kind of relationship you’d like to have with them and your child. You’re also able to decide how things go at the hospital when you deliver. If at any time during your pregnancy you feel uncomfortable with something about your adoption plan, you have the right to make changes to it.
Adoption laws vary by state. In order to help protect you and make sure you’re making a fully informed, voluntary decision, there are consent and revocation laws in place. We can help get you connected to an adoption attorney who can help you understand what this all means.
3. Get in Touch With a Professional
When you’re dealing with an unplanned pregnancy, professionals can be the best source for the services and info you need. A licensed adoption professional like Lifetime can give you honest information and resources. We strive to help each woman who contacts us to make the choice that’s right for her and her baby. We’ll never pressure you into making a decision that you’re not comfortable with.
At the end of the day, remember that while it’s nice to get support from friends and family, the final decision is yours to make.
Call Lifetime at 1-800-923-6784 anytime to learn more for free and with no obligation or pressure to choose adoption.
As the Chief Operating Officer (COO) of Lifetime Adoption, Heather Featherston holds an MBA and is passionate about working with those facing adoption, pregnancy, and parenting issues. Heather has conducted training for birth parent advocates, spoken to professional groups, and has appeared on television and radio to discuss the multiple aspects of adoption. She has provided one-on-one support to women and hopeful adoptive parents working through adoption decisions.
Since 2002, she has been helping pregnant women and others in crisis to learn more about adoption. Heather also trains and speaks nationwide to pregnancy clinics to effectively meet the needs of women who want to explore adoption for their child. Today, she continues to address the concerns women have about adoption and supports the needs of women who choose adoption for their child.
As a published author of the book Called to Adoption, Featherston loves to see God’s hand at work every day as she helps children and families come together through adoption.